A Florida man accused of a sex act with a miniature donkey named Doodle has rejected a plea deal, choosing instead to take his case to a jury. Considering that when he was arrested last month, 31-year-old Carlos R. Romero offered a vigorous defense of the right to have sex with animals, telling detectives that “Florida is a backwards state and people frown on zoophilia here,” we don’t exactly love his odds in an open court.
The plea deal offered by the state doesn’t look to our eyes like a bad one, though it’s not as if we have a whole lot of frame of reference here. Romero would have been on probation for a year, had to pay a $200 fine, undergo psychosexual evaluation and HIV testing, and not be allowed to have contact with children or animals. It was apparently that last point that was a deal breaker for Romero, who claimed that not being on the farm would leave him impoverished.
More than that, though, Romero also remains unrepentant about using his donkey for more than just farm work, asking in the comments section of a local paper via his Facebook wall “How can I give this up? The donkey was completely unharmed, healthy and happy with me.” Since this is presumably the way Romero also felt about the several horses he has admitted to having sex with since turning 18, I don’t imagine I’m alone in thinking we can go ahead and just skip that psychosexual evaluation.
While we’re usually all for someone standing by their beliefs, the belief that sex with a donkey is right and good is probably one from which you can safely back away. Taking the plea deal here seems like it really falls under Ghostbusters rules — as in “Carlos, when someone asks if you want to not go to jail for sexing on a donkey, you say ‘yes.'” Just sayin’, of the many, many things one could end up in prison for, donkey sex is not the classiest among them. We can’t imagine it’s going to win him all that many new friends in the correctional facility cafeteria.
- Florida, we need to have a talk about some of your decisions
- Alright, the Adventure Time statue is actually a pretty good call
- We’re okay with using donkeys as Wi-Fi hotspots. Just not for other stuff