First, a bit of context. Someone tweets as dead 14th century author Geoffrey Chaucer under the handle @LeVostreGC. Last night, “Chaucer” tweeted out a Middle English cover version of “The Best Ever Death Metal Band Out of Denton” by The Mountain Goats, and that’s frankly amazing.
In case you need a refresher on how great “The Best Ever Death Metal Band Out of Denton” is, here it is being performed live in 2008:
Hail Satan, indeed, John Darnielle.
Here’s the brilliantly rendered Middle English version:
The beste-evir Death Metale bande out of Chester, was a payre of squyres who had felawes ben sithen grammayre scole.
— Chaucer Doth Tweet (@LeVostreGC) August 19, 2013
Oon was Cyrus yclept, and th’othir Galfridus, and twyce ech weke thei did reherse yn Galfridus hys chambre. — Chaucer Doth Tweet (@LeVostreGC) August 19, 2013
The best-evir Death Metal bande out of Chester nevir did make choys of a name for their compaigyne. — Chaucer Doth Tweet (@LeVostreGC) August 19, 2013
Thogh the moost favoured choyces yn many dayes of parliament were Luciferes Talons, and the Slayeres, and Thos Who Dislyke the Hospitalers.
— Chaucer Doth Tweet (@LeVostreGC) August 19, 2013
Galfridus and Cyrus yn their herte-rootes did trowe thei were headed for riche perles and spycez, palanquines, and lande.
— Chaucer Doth Tweet (@LeVostreGC) August 19, 2013
So wyth many a circle and hermetique sigil, thei did grave their names on their lutes yn fyne hande. — Chaucer Doth Tweet (@LeVostreGC) August 19, 2013
And that ys howe Cyrus was sente to the towere, wher toold he was that nevir wolde fame speke of hym.
— Chaucer Doth Tweet (@LeVostreGC) August 19, 2013
And for that reson Galfridus yn manye a privye lettir did make greate counsel for restoringe of their former state.
— Chaucer Doth Tweet (@LeVostreGC) August 19, 2013
Yif thou punisshe a person for dreaminge hys dreames, ne looke nat nevir for hym to forgyve thee.
— Chaucer Doth Tweet (@LeVostreGC) August 19, 2013
The beste evir deathe metal bande out of Chester wille certes both perdure and outlyve thee.
— Chaucer Doth Tweet (@LeVostreGC) August 19, 2013
Vexilla regis prodeunt inferni! Vexilla regis prodeunt inferni, tonighte! Prodeunt!
— Chaucer Doth Tweet (@LeVostreGC) August 19, 2013
Vexilla regis prodeunt inferni, indeed, Geoffrey Chaucer.
Next time a bored high school student asks you what the point of reading The Canterbury Tales is, you tell them about this, and then you make them put down the Justin Bieber 45’s and read the whole thing in Middle English.
Please. We beseech you. If we have any readers out there with access to a lute and some recording equipment, please make this song happen.
(via Chaucer Doth Tweet, image via Skara Kommun)
- John Darnielle wrote a song about Justin Bieber
- Darnielle performed “Best Ever…” on the Judge John Hodgman podcast
- There was a White House petition to declare John Darnielle the U.S. Poet Laureate
