Woman meets up with man a year after they first connected. Then the dinner check arrives, and he says it’s not a date 

TikTok creator @goldenoreoe1 recently shared a first-date story she says went south fast. She claims the man told her it was not a date, then offered to pay the bill if she agreed to spend the night with him, according to The Daily Dot. The pair allegedly first met at an event almost a year ago, and she says the man kept asking to hang out. She eventually agreed, as he seemed like a nice guy and she wanted to give him a fair shot.

He told her he had made a reservation, and they finally met up for their first date. She noticed red flags right away, but she tried to stay positive and went in with an open mind. Early in the night, the man reportedly said he didn’t want to talk about religion or politics. That was reportedly just the start of a very strange evening. He asked about her dating life, and when she asked him the same question, he said he wasn’t looking for anything serious.

According to the creator, he allegedly added that he would pay the bill if she were willing to spend the night with him later. She says she found the comment disrespectful. She excused herself to use the restroom to think about what he said. She then walked out of the restaurant without caring if he saw her leave. She later blocked him on Instagram but kept him unblocked on TikTok, saying she wanted him to see her video and learn a lesson.

She says she noticed the red flags long before the check arrived

According to the creator, things reached a breaking point after they sat there for almost two hours. She said the check had been sitting on their table for nearly 15 minutes. She made it clear she didn’t mind splitting the bill, but she expected him to pay since it was their first date. When the waiter came back to check on them, the man allegedly started acting awkward. He then told her it wasn’t actually a date so that he could pay the bill, or they could split it.

She says she shared it because others might have lived through the same thing without realizing it. The creator also pointed to what she sees as a red pill mentality that is “poisoning men.” She believes that mindset may explain why her date went wrong, and she urged women to watch for it when judging a potential partner’s character.

Studies suggest a lot of men still pay, and some think it buys them more

Her expectation that he would cover the first date is still common among heterosexual daters. A Chapman University survey of more than 17,000 people, presented to the American Sociological Association more than a decade ago, found that 84% of men and 58% of women said men pay most dating costs.

The same survey points to mixed signals at the table. Over half of women said they offer to help pay. However, 39% admitted they hope the man turns them down, while 76% of men said they feel guilty accepting a woman’s money.

The offer she describes touches on an expectation researchers have tested directly. In a Journal of Interpersonal Violence study, Susan Basow and Alexandra Minieri gave 188 U.S. college students scenarios involving a date. When the man paid for an expensive date, male participants agreed more than female participants that both characters should have expected sex.

The Chapman survey suggests the norm loosens over time, with 74% of men and 83% of women saying they share at least some dating costs by six months, long after the first date.

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