It’s been a while since we’ve checked in on Matt Gaetz’s f*ckery in Congress, hasn’t it? It’s not that he hasn’t been up to no good lately (hold that thought), it’s just that the other rightwing nutjobs have been acting more bonkers—Marjorie Taylor Greene just got laughed at for demanding decorum in the House chambers, and Lauren Boebert thinks birth control is more expensive than having a child, for example. But lest you think Gaetz has been on the up and up, I’m here to assure you that he hasn’t. See, Gaetz has a new gig: guest hosting Greg Kelly‘s show on the extreme right-wing network Newsmax.
Now, you may be wondering how a sitting Congress member would have the time to do this amidst the looming debt ceiling crisis but to you, I would say, it’s easy to juggle a lot of tasks when you’re terrible at your job, don’t prioritize your constituents, and are just in Congress to get that sweet government pension and make the country worse off. Basically, you can have your cake and eat it too when you’re as committed to being as incompetent as Congressman Gaetz is.
Gaetz spent a full hour on TV last Friday subbing in for Kelly, and used that time to discuss the debt ceiling, student loan forgiveness, now-impeached Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, and even gave his thoughts on GOP presidential candidates Ron DeSantis and sexual abuser Donald Trump.
Here’s probably my favorite bit on student loan forgiveness, because it shows how out of touch nepobaby Gaetz is. Yes, that’s right, Gaetz is from a long line of politicians (his dad and paternal grandfather have both held elected offices) so the chances of him knowing what he’s talking about here are slim to none. Per Yahoo! News:
Gaetz, who had reportedly considered a Newsmax job before the network passed on him in 2021, also lambasted President Joe Biden’s plan for student loan forgiveness as it faces challenges in Washington.
“Hardworking Americans are asked to subsidize the $80,000 degree in intersectional gender studies for their now-underemployed Starbucks barista,” the Florida Republican said.
Here’s the video of that quote if you really feel like punishing yourself:
First and foremost, put some respect on the job of a barista, you tool. Getting a coffee is one of life’s little pleasures so Gaetz should be grateful that there are people willing to put up with chucklef*cks like him who freak out and throw massive hissy fits every December due to whatever manufactured outrage they’re dreamed up about the annual Starbucks holiday cups. Secondly, keep shitting on liberal arts degrees and see what you get: They teach critical thinking, a new way to look at things, and they are widely applicable to many professions. Also, this is rich coming from someone with a Bachelor of Science in “interdisciplinary sciences” —a.k.a., a degree for someone who also wanted to study outside of the STEM program and include some liberal arts in their education.
Anyway, since you’re dying to know where he stands on the GOP candidates, here’s what he had to say, per the above source:
Gaetz also spoke with Rep. Chip Roy (R-Texas), who said Republican presidential candidate and Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis would perform well in 2024 primary states like Iowa, New Hampshire and possibly South Carolina.
“He might do very well in South Carolina, particularly if the South Carolinians see the futility of their mission in terms of [former] Gov. Nikki Haley and Sen. Tim Scott,” Roy said, referring to two presidential candidates from the state.
But Gaetz doubted the suggestion about DeSantis’ primary prospects, due to the competing candidacy of former President Donald Trump.
“I think President Trump has a pretty high floor,” he said. “And the shade you throw at the viability of the South Carolinians is noted.”
This was basically the Matt Gaetz Partisan Hour courtesy of Newsmax, and naturally, some people thought that Gaetz, as a sitting member of Congress, maybe shouldn’t be handed the pulpit like that?!
This is probably a first because most Congressional members might actually want to do their job, and you know, try to govern. Don’t quote me on that, because I’m sure some of the more QAnon members of Congress are dying for the opportunity to host their own show, too.
Sometimes I think back to my childhood and how Dan Quayle got the political shit kicked out of him because he spelled potato wrong and compare it to now, where Republicans just do whatever they want because as long as they’re hating on liberals and making things harder for already vulnerable people, they can get elected by the lowest common denominator because that’s how far discourse has fallen in this country. I’m sure for some people, that’s great but for the rest of us it’s kind of baffling. Nothing will come of Gaetz guest hosting a show on Newsmax, because to be censured it would mean Kevin McCarthy had to suddenly develop morals and a backbone overnight, and friends you have a better chance of seeing pigs fly than that happening.
(featured image: Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images)
