Kevin McCarthy scratches his head and stares blankly.

Kevin McCarthy Has Time to Auction off His Used Chapstick But Not Address the Debt Ceiling?!

Hey, remember the massive looming global economic crisis that is going to happen because of Kevin McCarthy’s inability to get the House to raise the debt ceiling?! I don’t know about you, but if I were Kevin McCarthy, I probably would be solely focused on averting the United States from defaulting on its debt for the first time, ever, and not, you know, donating my used chapstick for an auction. Yes, I know people contain multitudes and can do different things simultaneously, but we’re talking about a man who had to sell his soul to Matt Gaetz and get publically humiliated 15 times before he was elected the Speaker of the House. You may be able to multitask, but I am confident that Kevin McCarthy cannot. Per People:

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The House GOP paused its weekly meeting on Tuesday to hold an impromptu auction in order to bid off an odd item — House Speaker Kevin McCarthy’s used chapstick, according to several news outlets. 

Ok, so yes, McCarthy did not personally auction off his chapstick, but he was in attendance, and even threw in personal time with himself when apparently the bids were too low? Politico writes:

[The] California Republican chose to sweeten the deal: He agreed to attend a dinner with the winner and whichever donors and supporters they planned to bring along. That cash is headed for the House GOP campaign arm.

So what was the winning bid, and who won the “prize”? Well, naturally McCarthy’s used chapstick went for $100,000 and it’s the QAnon, fascist, all-around terrible person Marjorie Taylor Greene who “won” the auction. (I put that in quotes because there are no winners, here.) Per Politico:

“I’m honored to be able to donate $100,000 to the [National Republican Congressional Committee] to help Republicans increase our majority in 2024 and defeat the Democrats. My constituents will be honored to host a visit with Speaker Kevin McCarthy, who we all think is doing a great job,” Greene said in a statement.

Just so we’re all on the same page here: we’re in a standoff over the default because the ghoulish Republicans want to cut the budget overall, and yet Greene has $100k lying around to spend on used chapstick. They want to make life actively harder for citizens, while they throw around money personally as if it grows on trees. Awesome.

Don’t worry, Democrats have some strongly worded tweets ready. Per the above article:

Democrats greeted the McCarthy chapstick auction, which was first reported by POLITICO, with barely masked alarm.

“They [are] doing this insane chapstick shit while the country teeters on default. Wild,” tweeted progressive Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.).

“Spending $100,000 on chapstick while working overtime to gut the programs that working families rely on. GOP priorities in a nutshell,” echoed Rep. Nydia Velazquez (D-N.Y.).

Here’s the best/worst part of this story. After the 15-minute auction concluded, the meeting finally did turn to the looming crisis (all of the Republicans making) on a default, but it seems they’re calling “fake news” on the estimated projection of June 1 as default day? Per Politico:

After the bidding and call for contributions to the NRCC concluded, House Republicans returned their focus to the debt ceiling. During that portion of the meeting, they expressed skepticism about June 1 being as firm of a potential debt default “X-date” as Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen has suggested.

Gee, I don’t know who I would trust more, Yellen, who has taught economics at Harvard, has been the Federal Reserve Chair, and is the current Secretary of Treasury; or someone like Majority Leader Steve Scalise, who called on Yellen for “more transparency” around the date. According to his Wikipedia page, Scalise has a degree in Computer Science. Cool, well, I mean, this is a nation of false equivalencies, it’s basically how the Republicans keep getting elected because their bonkers stances get treated with equal weight as actual facts, but I know who I will believe on a looming default, and it’s not the person who was in the meeting when Kevin McCarthy’s chapstick was auctioned off.

(featured image: Win McNamee/Getty Images)

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Kate Hudson
Kate Hudson (no, not that one) has been writing about pop culture and reality TV in particular for six years, and is a Contributing Writer at The Mary Sue. With a deep and unwavering love of Twilight and Con Air, she absolutely understands her taste in pop culture is both wonderful and terrible at the same time. She is the co-host of the popular Bravo trivia podcast Bravo Replay, and her favorite Bravolebrity is Kate Chastain, and not because they have the same first name, but it helps.