rhaenyra in House of the Dragon
(HBO)

Why Did Criston Cole Betray Rhaenyra?

OMG DRAMAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

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The tea is PIPING hot on Westeros campus right now, and not just because Daemon is being a messy bitch as usual. No, shit just popped OFF between Criston and Rhaenyra. It’s wiiiiiiiiiiiiiild. SIDDOWN BITCH and I’ll tell you about it.

Okay, BACKSTORY. Criston got the hots for Rhaenyra when he was competing in a tournament at the very beginning of the school year. Seriously, he was eye fucking her the whole time. And then he asked for her favor so he could win the rest of the tournament and the bitch was smitten.

FAST FORWARD she puts him on the Kingsguard. Then, the two romp around in the forest together after she runs away from her hunting party—because someone tells her that she has to get married. She’s like “no bitch my man is right here!!!.” So then they fucked. OOPS!!!

FAST FORWARD AGAIN and Rhaenyra is all set to marry her Laenor Velaryon. So the details are fuzzy but I heard a rumor that Criston asked Rhaenyra to marry him and maybe even suggested that they elope. And apparently, she totally rejected him and now he’s all pissed about it and is totally plotting her demise. It’s seriously ugly. He’s totally supporting Aegon II and trying to put the kid on the throne by any means necessary, which apparently means murdering Rhaenyra’s supporters.

This is literally why I don’t date anyone who goes to Westeros U. Seriously, the people here will murder you if you break up with them. Maybe I should transfer to Essos? I heard the Dothraki are actually super sweet once you get to know them.

Featured image: HBO


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Jack Doyle
Jack Doyle (they/them) is actually nine choirs of biblically accurate angels crammed into one pair of $10 overalls. They have been writing articles for nerds on the internet for less than a year now. They really like anime. Like... REALLY like it. Like you know those annoying little kids that will only eat hotdogs and chicken fingers? They're like that... but with anime. It's starting to get sad.