The White House Is Full Of Undesirable Vermin and the Jokes Write Themselves
NBC 4 Washington obtained hundreds of works orders which report that the building is dealing with infestations of unwanted creatures that threaten the livability of the White House. Oh, and mice, cockroaches, and ants. Low-hanging fruit, I know. (Not sorry. If Trump is making the United States uninhabitable for anyone not rich, white, male, cis, and straight then I’m glad he’s not comfortable.)
Specifics include mice in the situation room and the White House Navy mess food service area, cockroach infestations in “at least four parts of the White House”, and “a colony of ants living in chief of staff John Kelly’s office.” Also of note was a request for a new toilet seat for the Oval Office bathroom directed to be done “after hours please.”
Former General Service Administration Inspector General Brian Miller told NBC that the amount of requests wasn’t out of the ordinary in comparison to past administrations considering “old houses need a lot of work”, but that didn’t stop those with an eye for symbolism and foreshadowing to characterize this infestation as an divine plague of vermin sent to punish the administration before their true reckoning. The house rotting from the inside as the structural integrity collapses from these unwanted intruder will make visible the degradation of our own democracy at the hands of the Trump and his unwelcome collective.
Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!
—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—
Have a tip we should know? email@example.com