Uh-Oh, the Vikings Scheduled Their Apocalypse for Saturday
Does Asterix know about this?
Don’t bother making plans for Saturday night: if ancient Viking lore is accurate, Loki’s wolf son is set to break out of prison soon and the world will end on February 22nd. Thankfully, party-like-there’s-no-tomorrow events are going down to help us celebrate Ragnarok, the end of life as we know it.
According to the Huffington Post, Ragnarok literally translates to “Fate or Twilight of The Gods” or “Final Destiny of the Gods,” so from name alone, it’s obvious that the Vikings have something a little more epic planned than that candy-ass Mayan calendar.
Detailing the chaos and immorality that ensues after Loki’s son Fenrir (a horrifying wolf monster, obviously) escapes from prison, the mythology of Ragnarok tells of a giant battle between snakes, fire monsters, and the Gods. It also involves Loki piloting a ship literally from Hell, so yeah, this ain’t yo Mama’s apocalypse.
Ragnarok was also predicted to arrive after “Fombulvetr,” Norse for “polar vortex” or the “winter of all winters”—so far the Vikings are eerily on point.
Odin and Thor (the two names in Norse mythology that I can put a photogenic face to) are both set to perish in the divine battle, but after the ensuing earthquakes, Hellfire, and global flooding, it’s not all bad news: Viking lore predicts that a new, more peaceable world will arise from the ashes of the deity smackdown.
If you’re still deeply concerned about this weekend’s predicted events, England’s Jorvik Viking Center has a full schedule of parties designed to distract you from possible imminent doom. Yes, a last-minute flight to England for the Viking Apocalypse isn’t cheap, but you won’t have anywhere to spend your gold in the fiery ruins of Asgard, so might as well put it to good use now.
The Jorvik Center’s director described the Festival’s events to the Yorkshire Post:
“The eyes of the world’s media are set to be on York on the evening of February 22 as our countdown to Ragnarok comes to an end, and if the prediction does come true, we are determined to go out with a bang.
“The legend of Ragnarok tells of the fall of the Norse gods and the birth of a new world, but, of course, if we wake up to the same old world on the morning of Sunday, February 23, we’ll have no regrets – our celebrations also mark Jolablot, the Viking feast to hail the coming of spring, which to many people is the annual rebirth of the world!”
Ain’t no party like a Viking party cause a Viking party don’t stop, even for the apocalypse.
If you do shell out for a last minute trip to Viking Apocalypse-Fest, cross your fingers that this won’t be a repeat of 2012’s “whoops, we got the dates wrong” Mayan fiasco. And if you stay home and nothing happens, don’t feel too bad. You know you were just going to re-watch Thor and google “Hemsworth brothers shirtless” anyway.
- Real estate in Asgard is just ridiculous
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- All the tools you’ll need to survive the coming hellscape
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