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True Blood Recap: Fairyland Has The Worst Bars

Recap

Being a newcomer to True Blood, I thought I had a pretty good grasp on the characters and their motivations within the universe of the show. All of that changed in this third episode, though; I have no idea what’s going on. Let’s try to sort through this, shall we?

Pam is still training Tara, her protegé, in the art of eating people/staying alive. Tara still is not thrilled about being a vampire, but Pam isn’t giving her much of a choice. In other maker news, Eric decides that he needs to sever the bond between Pam and himself (presumably because he is still under the thumb of the Authority and wants to keep her safe), and does some kind of vampire spell that frees her from her obligation to him. Sure.

Sookie confesses her murder of Alcide’s girlfriend to Jason, who promptly asks her to un-confess. When that doesn’t work, Jessica uses her own vampire mojo to make Andy Bellefleur forget that the case hasn’t been solved, even going so far as to make him forget there is a case at all. Andy is not done being manipulated by magical forces, however, as he and Jason accompany some kind of local bigwig to a fairy bar in another dimension. The fairy bar looks like the worst club you would end up in in Las Vegas, combined with some kind of Cirque du Soleil audience participation thing. It’s a nightmare, is what I’m saying.

Jason runs into his cousin Hadley, who works at the club, and she makes an offhand comment about the way that his parents died, which Jason believed to have been from natural causes. This is True Blood, so obviously they were killed by wood nymphs or something. Even I know that. When he tries to go after Hadley to get more information he gets in a scuffle with some fairy bouncers, and they throw him and Andy out of the club before aiming beams of white light at their heads (we don’t get to see what these beams of white light do, but I’m betting it’s not good).

Meanwhile, Sookie gets chewed out by Lafayette for confessing to Debbie’s murder, ending with him calling her “the angel of death.” Once she leaves Lafayette gets taken over by the blue rage monster again (on any other show that would be metaphorical!) and puts some kind of hex on her car, making it speed up uncontrollably as the brakes malfunction, and forcing her to dive out before it hits a tree. She deals with this by getting super drunk and making out with Alcide. I understand that he’s apparently in love with her, but it seems a little soon to hook up with the girl who shot and killed your ex-girlfriend.

Watching all of this unfold is Bill and Eric, who presumably need Sookie to help them in their mission to find Russell Edgington. “I don’t think she wants anything to do with either of us ever again,” Eric says, as they creepily stand there watching Sookie kiss Alcide on her couch. “I don’t think we give her a choice,” Bill says even more creepily.

In other news, the Authority is hoping to manipulate the Sanguinista-sympathizing Nora for their own ends, and also finds another traitor within their ranks. Surprise — it’s the thousand-year-old kid! Christopher Meloni deals with this spectacularly, by exploding the kid like a grape in front of the rest of the conference table. Elliot Stabler would never do something like that!

So — will Alcide and Sookie regret their drunken hookup? Will Bill and Eric just keep standing there forever? What kind of dark fairy magic blasted Andy and Jason in the face at episode’s end? I’m hoping these questions will be answered for me next week. And then, of course, get immediately replaced with more questions. Such is the nature of True Blood.

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