Larian Studios’ massive hit Baldur’s Gate 3 surprised and delighted me in multiple ways—even in the most vain ways possible. I thought my vanity would be sated by the hair options alone. But apparently, things were only meant to get better.
Look, I may enjoy playing video games, but I’m not a fan of the stereotype that gamers don’t take pride in their appearance. I absolutely love fashion, and choosing my outfits is half the fun of every outing I plan. Sometimes, if I need to cheer myself up, I’ll even dress up just to get a cup of coffee and people-watch. The right clothes, like a well-suited haircut, can really make you feel like yourself—and this extends to your game self, too!
Whoever designed the outfits in BG3 was nothing short of a visionary, and now, I’d like to take a moment to appreciate my personal favorites from their carefully designed wardrobe. Some of these are armors, some are camp outfits, and one is just a pair of panties, but they are all pieces of clothing I’d absolutely wear IRL.
Wavemother’s robe
Forgive the bad angles, but if you’ve been on social media at all, you’ve probably already seen this fit from every possible angle. It goes so astronomically hard it boggles the mind. It’s slutty, it’s classy, it’s practical, and it’s in service to Umberlee, an objectively Mother goddess.
Also, am I objectifying my girlfriend by putting her in this fit? Perhaps … but also, it’s “practical,” you know? Plus, I think Shart enjoys serving just as much as I do.
Black leather flare fit
Good lord. Ma’am? BG3? You needed to warn us before giving us this. Christ alive, I’ve worn variations of this exact fit IRL, so you can be damn sure I’d wear this just to hit up the grocery store. Larian, where’s your boutique, and when is it opening?
Gale’s comfy PJ’s
Say what you will about Gale, but that boy looks comfy. And a comfy boy is a cute boy. Take notes, fellas. Sweaters and cool tones go a long way.
Anarchic outfits
Okay, girl, give us a little cleavage—get freaky with it. But not too freaky, right? There’s still some elegance going on here. The exposed back is a nice little touch. This would be a good casual bar outfit, a last-minute Friday cocktail fit, if you will.
The “slimfit”
OOH, girl. Tiddies out, cross-stitch action going on in the front, the functional straps. Goodness gracious, work it, Miss Magic.
Also, I love that it’s literally called the “slimfit.” I’m not being cheeky here, that’s the name. Someone knew their audience on the design team.
Solemnity/”Raffish” outfit
Now, this one is a little more conservative than most of the other fits on this list, but it’s got a lot going for it. I’m always a fan of cross-threads on the collarbone, and while the shirt-under-sweater trend might have rightfully died in the early 2010s, it still works in some cases. This is one of them. Don’t give them everything, girls—let them wonder a bit.
Gortash’s Cloth of Authority
Look, Gortash might have been a bitch, but he was a bitch with an excellent tailor, and that’s something to admire. I see you, you middle-aged goth slut, with that chest window hanging out in broad daylight. The flared sleeves also give this outfit a certain “je ne sais quoi,” a little “I don’t care if you think I’m evil, I’m easy and breezy all up in this palace.” And you know what? I have to respect that. Me too, girl.
The half-elf panties
I have no idea whether or not these undies are also the default for other races, but the point is, these undies are cuuuuute. There’s a subtle nature-y/beach-y vibe going on here that I’d absolutely die for IRL. The Mary Sue‘s own Alyssa Shotwell tends to let her characters run around in their undies during camp time, and honestly, I’ve been missing out—I had no idea my girl’s panties were this cute.
Also, because we need the ad revenue, I can’t show you how her butt looks in these, so let me just say: it’s cheeky as sin. Just as Eilistraee intended.
The homely standard
Bless you, Larian, for making our default set of clothes still cute. Simple? Plain? Not exactly a panty-dropper? Yes, yes, and yes. But there’s still a flair of personality and comfort in them. Love it.
Jaheira’s jammies
Listen, when an older woman has already paid her world-saving dues, she deserves to wear comfortable, sensible clothes that also allow her to work it. Jaheira was already perfect, so her jammies needed to be equally perfect. And they are. Good lord, that woman is yoked. Showing off the guns at dinnertime, as is her right.
Blazer of Benevolence
This is one of those pieces of light armor that all Charisma-heavy characters will probably latch onto early into their playthroughs and will then mournfully let go of as they find better gear. I’m not huge on the dandy look, but this one? Oh, honey. It’s got the camp. It lets you glamp. And it looks great on our party vamp.
Plus, that little songbird belt-buckle? Like, girl, who even are you? Unbelievably cute.
Wyll’s unintentionally punk PJ’s
Even though I’m entering my mid-to-late 20s, I still use regular scissors to cut the bottoms off long t-shirts, which results in pretty jagged edges. I’m okay with this though—I ran with crusty crowds for a very definitive portion of my youth. The crust is part of me now.
And apparently, it’s part of our favorite warlock as well. This man is the son of the Grand Duke—he could get better-tailored clothes, yet he chooses to rock out with his tummy out and a jagged-cut crop top in bed. Our devil-bound punk king. There are many things to admire about Wyll but this is especially hot.
Elegant romper
There’s another variation of this outfit that’s longer, and it feels a little too Greek-mythology-cosplay for my liking. But this? This romper? Oh, baby. Yes, baby. This is the kind of thing I’d wear around the house on a hot afternoon when I’m tired of wearing a bra. The kind of thing I’d wear on my day off while working on a puzzle and lounging around, drinking wine. This romper is everything I’ve ever dreamed of yet cannot, simply cannot find under $50.
You’re telling me only the goddamn Dream Guardian gets to wear it? Classism, I tell you.
(featured image: Larian Studios)
