Quite Possibly the Best-Worst Gift Ever: The Invisible Space Helmet
It Came From Outer Space
Can I make a pitch? For a new holiday? Since some portions of the population don’t exactly enjoy Valentine’s Day, I’m going to propose Astronaut Day. On Astronaut Day, boys and girls, men and women, all ages, all cultural backgrounds, everyone — everyone takes one day out of the year to put on our very own “Invisible Helmet” that when worn, “nobody but nobody can tell who you are”! We can pretend we’re aliens, we can pretend we’re NASA astronauts, we can pretend to walk on the moon … Come on, this would be so awesome! And for just $1.98 in 1950s money! Sure, that might be about $16 and change now (ish), but being able to see “everybody and everything” in this totally inconspicuous and realistic space helmet is a sound investment if you ask me.
But like the ad says: Make sure you’re the first to get your hands on this. Because only then will you be the astronaut who will be worshipped. And sacrificed. Wow, this turned into The Hunger Games so fast.