*Tips fedora*
Good ‘morrow, m’lady.
Look ye for the greatest fantasy anime of all time? No doubt thou has searched beyond every hill and dale for the finest of fantasy tales. Perhaps thou has grown tired of sapphic tales of love and longing or the endless “spin-off” stories of one “Game of Thrones.” Well, content thyself, and rest thy soft, heaving bosom. Verily and forsooth, I have travailed over tall and frosty mountains, crossed vast and scorching deserts, and dived to the bottom of boiling, foamy seas to bring thee the greatest tales of anime fantasy of all time. I have felled cities of giants, slaughtered scores of trolls, and seduced many a goblin king to steal, plunder, and barter for these tales. All for thee m’lady. And though thou hast said “nay” to me before, perhaps after I giveth thee these stories, thou wilt accompany me to this year’s Renaissance Faire?
Shh! Stop thy mouth! Say nothing until I have finished. For these are the greatest tales of anime fantasy throughout the ages of the world.
Berserk
Verily, this be the greatest of the great. The Monarch of Myth. The Sultan of Story. The Fabulous Prince of Fables. Berserk may indeed be the finest of all fantasy anime on this very list. It feauturyth the strongest of warriors, a man named Guts, who sets out on a revenge quest against his treacherous former commander, a man named Griffith, whose face is as bonny as his heart is black. If thou enjoyest violence and demon slaying, this anime be for ye.
Yet be warned, m’lady. This anime is bloody indeed. and featuryth many horrible deeds including murder, mayhem, and crimes of dark and evil passion. But fear not, if thou feelst as if ye are going to faint, I will catch thee delicately as thou fall. Berserk hath many anime, and I recommendeth the series from the 90s and the three feature length films (a trilogy not unlike lord of the rings). But whater’ the doest, do NOT watcheth the newest iteration of Beserk from 2016. It sucketh. The animation is cursed.
Attack On Titan
Forsooth, this anime be another of the dark and dreary sort. But let not that make thee afraid, m’lady! Indeed this anime be thrilling. I am sure thou hast no doubt heard of Attack on Titan, for the bards of this land have recapped the episodes in every hearth and hall of the internet. Google it not, for there be spoilers all ’round. I will tell you only bit a wee pip of the tale: humanity lives in a walled off city (not unlike a castle!) to protect themselves from giant humanoids called “titans” (not unlike giants!) which seek no other ends than to devour every personage unfortunate enough to cross their path (not unlike tapas at a Spanish restaurant!)
One day, a giant among the giant titans delivers a swift and hearty kick to the wall, sundering it, and letting the monstrosities inside to spread misery and woe. Yet hope is not lost! A party of brave soldiers armed with sharp swords and steam powered grappling hooks rise up to defend humanity from the Titan hordes. It is a tale of violence, intrigue, and subterfuge, as humanity itself hides a dark secret of its own.
Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood
The bonds of brotherhood, be there anything on God’s verdant Earth that is more beautiful? Besides thy sweet face, lady, I think not. Verily this story is indeed one of the greatest tales of all time. In concerns two young brothers, who, after the tragic death of their mother, engage in a dark alchemical ritual to bring her back from the grave. But this is blasphemy! As the intricacies of alchemy no doubt soar above even the most learned of ladies’ heads, I will explain it to thee: it is forbidden by the laws of nature to attempt to use alchemy to restore a person from death, for indeed, the human soul cannot be transmuted through alchemical processes.
The boys are left horribly disfigured from their attempt. The elder loses an arm and a leg, while the younger loses his entire body. Only his soul remains, it is bonded with a once inanimate suit of armor! O horror! The boys go on a quest to return the younger brother’s soul to his rightful body, and in doing so, uncover an evil alchemical plot against their realm. The two young men must rise to the occasion and defeat a slew of horrible monsters and chimeras who seek to overthrow the kingdom through political machinations and … well, murder.
Mononoke
The unsung hero of this list! While not well known, this particular anime is a jewel that is waiting for skilled, dwarf-like hands to mine it from the bowels of streaming services! But thy delicate ladyfingers could never accomplish such a task, so smooth and fragile are they! Not like the coarse hands of a blacksmith or a … barista. Nay, thy hands are better suited for dining on figs and playing the lute. Therefore, allow me to mine this gem for thee and fashion it into a glittering jewel that thou canst wear for a broach on thy decolletage.
Indeed, this anime is special, as it flies far from the doldrums of the western world and takes us to the distant lands of the East! The story concerns a wandering warrior apothe’cry known at the “Medicine Man” who exorcises the cunning and cruel demons of Japanese myth and legend! It is no simple task, as the medicine man must discern the type of spirit, its origin, an its motive before he can draw his vorpal blade and smite the demon. Therefore indeed, the series is mainly a thrilling mystery. Not one to be missed!
Fate/Zero
Ay, Fate/Zero is another fine tale set in the East. But this one is set in a distant future known as the mid 2000s. There are many wondrous and strange inventions! Carriages that move without horses! Magic rectangles that allow a men to converse over great distances! Strange boxes the allow the scryer to gaze upon an imaginary world called “the internet” and see the beauties and horrors housed within! But our story does not concern such things, and thankfully so, for surely, my lady, your delicate mind would not be able to grasp such esoteric concepts all at once! Nay indeed, instead the tale deals with a group of sorcerers (finally, a mundane concept!) who must summon heroes of myth and legend in order to vie in a great tourney to posses The Holy Grail! Yes! The Holy Grail! The mythical cup of Iesus Christus Himself!
The tale is indeed a gripping one, for a tender hearted viewer like thyself may fall in love with multiple characters, and therefore it is all the more tragic when two of thy favorite characters must fight to the death. The series is not unlike Game of Thrones, with many characters to love, but only few to survive. Perhaps this is the perfect anime to start with! Indeedy! Sit by me, my lady. We shall share this flagon of ale and I will regale you with more tales of adventure that your weak and feminine heart will no doubt—my lady why dost thou snatch the flagon from my hand? It is most unlady-like to—no, NO POUR IT NOT UPON MY PATE! SWEET LADY, SEE REASON! MY COSTUME IS A RENTAL! I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO RECOUP MY DEPOSIT IF—
*splutters and chokes*
I suppose that is a “nay”?
Featured image credit: OLM, Inc
