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Newt Scamander and Albus Dumbledore Have a Chat

"It's good to see you, Professor Dumbledore. Sorry that I asked you here to help hunt down your old boyfriend."

"Not at all, Newt, not at all. The follies of youth can come back to haunt us. When I was in love with Gellert Grindelwald as young man, I never could have guessed that his face would come to be one of the most despised in the world."

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Video Manip That Shows the Trump Team’s Perp Walks Is the Best Thing Ever

Before the reality of Trump's former campaign chairman Paul Manafort (and associates) being indicted came to pass, director Ava DuVernay tweeted a short video that I promptly sent to everyone I know with the message "This is the best thing I've ever seen."

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Gina Rodriguez and Stephanie Beatriz Star In a Totally Made-Up Superhero Movie…As Girlfriends!

Following the advice of Lin-Manuel Miranda, with an assist by @loudlysilent on Twitter. Sí se puede!

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Where Is the Money I Was Promised for Attending All of These Protests?

Please find my invoice attached.

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The Onion Has Outdone Itself With a Huge Document Dump of Trump “Leaks”

The Onion has long been a high marker for American satire. But what is a site to do when they have a stated rule of "no low-hanging fruit" at a time when all fruit in sight seems to already be rotting on the ground? How do you make clever satire of Donald Trump, a distinctly and proudly unclever man?

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Donald Trump Says That No Politician in History Has Been Treated Worse. I Beg to Differ.

Donald Trump can maybe make that claim once Jared Kushner joins up with 60 of his frenemies to stab him to death, but not before.

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This Is Surely How The United States Came to Drop the Mother of All Bombs

Or: how Donald learned to love the bomb.

Today the U.S. dropped the GBU-43, nicknamed "the mother of all bombs" as the biggest non-nuclear weapon in the American arsenal, on a suspected ISIS network of tunnels in Afghanistan. We're pretty sure we know how the decision came about.

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Actual Reasons Not to Date Hot Women

Is Dan Rochkind, in this article that introduces his fiancé as "isn't a bikini model" before it mentions her name, actually onto something?

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Larry Wilmore Reminds College Bros That Sexual Assault Isn’t “Satire” on The Nightly Show

Applications to Knowledge College ACCEPTED.

Larry Wilmore's take on slut shaming on The Nightly Show is spot-on.

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Attack on Offices of Satirical Magazine Leaves French Cartoonist Community Bereft

Many folks on this side of the Atlantic woke up this morning to news of a violent attack on Charlie Hebdo, a satirical newspaper with offices in Paris.

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Little Girl’s “Let Me Poop” Frozen Cover Is the Most Inspiring Thing I’ve Seen All Week

Stand down, Weird Al. Sorry, Idina.

Holy crap. Emily Mandelbaum is clearly some kind of satirical songwriting genius.

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Satire Website Says Orange Is The New Black Is Canceled, Can You Guess What Happened Next?

Satire Is the New Fact

Empire News recently posted a story titled: Netflix Pulls Plug On Orange Is The New Black; The Reason Why May Shock You. Upsetting, right? Well, only if it's true.

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Rom-Com Spoof They Came Together Comes Together Well in the End

"Came"? D'ya get it? Huh? Huh?

David Wain, director of Wet Hot American Summer and Role Models, is back in snark mode (though he never really left) with They Came Together, a feature-length skewering of every rom-com cliché known to man starring Amy Poehler and Paul Rudd. But is the film better than some of the the saptastic treacle it mocks? Happily, yes.

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EVERYONE PANIC! Solar Panels Will Drain the Sun of Its Power! Internet Freaks Out Over Fake National Report Article

Good. Something else for gullible idiots to believe.

The National Report is a satirical website that publishes fake stories the Internet loves falling for. Its latest hit is an article claiming solar panels drain the Sun's energy and that they could kill the Sun within a few hundred years. THAT IS NOT TRUE, but it sure hasn't stopped the story from spreading.

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“Code Babes” Website: Women Strip, Men Learn, Everything Is Horrible

Thank god! It's been a full half hour since I was objectified!

The Internet is in a 100% justified uproar right now over a new website of dubious veracity. The premise behind Code Babes is basic (also disgusting): the site teaches male users to code by having a traditionally attractive woman remove enough clothing to keep "things interesting."

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100% Spoiler-Free Review of [Movie Title Redacted to Avoid Spoilers]

Spoilers gonna spoil.

People on the Internet sure do hate spoilers. They even hate things that aren't really spoilers. To try to make those people happy, here is a review of a movie we watched that is 100% free of any spoilers about the film including its title, cast, plot, setting, and crew. Enjoy!

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Satirical Kickstarter Clone Offers Crowdfunding for Torture

At first glance, it would seem that Kickstriker, a website from three graduate students at New York University, is a platform designed to mimic the incredible success of Kickstarter. Digging a little deeper reveals that these projects aren't exactly in the same vein. Of the projects currently on the site, one is for a mobile interrogation unit and another is to help fund the Tibetan militia resist Chinese rule. Essentially, it's for publicly-funded warfare.

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Kittywood: The Creators of Internet Cat Videos [Video]

By now, you have may have noticed that there are a lot of cat videos on the Internet. It's not simply because people like them, but because the corporate powerhouse Kittywood has been professionally producing nearly every cat video on YouTube. At least, that's what this video would have you believe. While being a dead-on satire of viral videos, the lengths to which corporations will go to make something viral, and hollywood itself, this does raise an interesting question: Is a world where all cat vides are professionally made more or less horrifying than a world where millions of people put an astronomical amount of cat activities to film just because they can? Think about it. (via Neatorama)

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Lady Gaga Refuses to Let Weird Al Parody Her Song for His Upcoming Album [Update]

Some of today's musical artists just don't seem to understand that it's an honor when "Weird Al" Yankovic parodies one of your songs. Back in 1985, Madonna was canny enough to slip the suggestion to Weird Al that "Like a Surgeon" would be a humorous title for a "Like a Virgin" parody. But her would-be successor, Lady Gaga, humorlessly shot down a Weird Al parody of "Born This Way" called "Perform This Way," according to a posting on Yankovic's blog which documents the bizarre saga. You can read the whole thing there, but to make a long story short, Yankovic sent the following pitch for the song to Gaga's camp:

I’d like to do a parody of Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” called “I Perform This Way.” The basic concept is that I, as a Lady Gaga doppelganger of sorts, describe the incredibly extravagant ways in which I perform on stage. Meat dresses and giant eggs would most likely be referenced, but also much more ridiculous made-up examples of bizarre wardrobe and stage production. As with all my parodies, it would be respectful of the artist, while having a bit of fun with her larger-than-life image.
Gaga's camp proceeded to stonewall Yankovic, then ultimately shot him down. (Luckily, he released the audio to YouTube, and you can hear it below.)

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The Wire as a Victorian Novel

Joy Delyria and Sean Michael Robinson have produced a brilliant satirical essay that re-imagines the acclaimed television series The Wire as a 19th-Century serialized novel. It's wonderful, and will give you a reason to use the word "Dickensian" today.
There are few works of greater scope or structural genius than the series of fiction pieces by Horatio Bucklesby Ogden, collectively known as The Wire; yet for the most part, this Victorian masterpiece has been forgotten and ignored by scholars and popular culture alike. Like his contemporary Charles Dickens, Ogden has, due to the rough and at times lurid nature of his material, been dismissed as a hack, despite significant endorsements of literary critics of the nineteenth century. Unlike the corpus of Dickens, The Wire failed to reach the critical mass of readers necessary to sustain interest over time, and thus runs the risk of falling into the obscurity of academia. We come to you today to right that gross literary injustice.
You can read the whole essay, "When It's Not Your Turn," over at the Hooded Utilitarian. (via BoingBoing)

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