T-Mobile Sends Out Press Release That Reads Like An Onion Article, Slams AT&T Using Star Wars Jokes
These are not the mobile phone plans you're looking for.
Okay, we know that the phrase “This is like an Onion article” is used way too often of late, but the comparison here is apt: T-Mobile’s recent press release imagines fake, casually-inflected quotes from high ranking corporate leaders in the company, using Star Wars references to discuss news that isn’t even about them. Well played.
The release begins:
T-Mobile US, Inc. (NYSE: TMUS) today announced that pretty much everyone at the company is overcome with emotion and still kind of processing the decision by now-ex-rival AT&T to leave the dark side, step into the light, and join hands in supporting the Un-carrier consumer revolution.
And it gets weirder:
“Wow. I mean … wow,” breathed John Legere, president and CEO of T-Mobile. “I guess we all have moments of doubt. You know? Like, can the darkness ever be defeated? But that they’ve singled us out in this way is just so affirming. I guess we must be doing something right. I mean, if AT&T can change, it feels like anything’s possible.
“It’s kind of like that scene where Darth Vader’s lying there and Luke helps take off his helmet,” Legere continued, “and you see that, okay, sure, Darth Vader’s pretty ugly, but he’s human after all.”
It’s even funnier when you figure out what exactly the press release is advertising — recently AT&T started offering a $450 value per line directly to T-Mobile users if they decide to switch over. So T-Mobile pointed out that since this applies only to their customers, AT&T customers now have the opportunity to try out T-Mobile’s service practically risk-free. If they don’t like it, the statement reads, then they can switch back and get that cool $450 for themselves.
Well, okay, that’s not technically how the statement reads. Instead they imagine a made-up quote from AT&T president and CEO Ralph de la Vega.
“Call it an awakening[…] but I felt it was time to really stir things up and put the customer first for a change. And by “customer” I’m referring to our former customers who switch to T-Mobile, because our current customers don’t really qualify.”
This is starting to remind me of those early Sony PS4 infomercials that made fun of the Xbox One’s now defunct used game policy.
Man, shots fired, T-Mobile.
- Is your cell phone not NSA-proof? because this one is
- Choose your own adventure with this sexy phone message service
- Someday we’re going to get free Wi-Fi in public parks, damn it
Have a tip we should know? email@example.com