You Can Make $13,000 a Year by Selling Your Poop!
Also known as "blogging."
To catch you up on what’s going down with all the brown, bacterial C. diff infections are dangerous and difficult to treat, but an extremely easy and effective treatment is literally transplanting a healthy person’s poop into another person’s butt. OpenBiome is the first repository for prospective poop panaceas in the United States, and they’ll pay top dollar for the contents of your bottom.
Butt you have to pass the strict screening process, first. “It’s harder to become a donor than it is to get into MIT,” joked own OpenBiome’s co-founder, MIT’s own Mark Smith, when speaking to the Washington Post. But once donors are accepted, they can earn $40 per “sample” and a $50 bonus for making donations five times a week, which means they can earn up to $13,000 in a year just for… doing business with the transplant bank.
The compensation rate is pretty competitive when compared to other things you could donate: human eggs are $8,000 each, but you can only donate six times; sperm donation is comparable at as much as $1,000 per month; and other things might be more but will probably land you in jail or a bathtub of ice in an alley.
Still, only 4% of potential donors have made the cut out of around 1,000 who have expressed interest over the past two years. If you want to ride this gravy train, you’re going to need to have your shit together.