10 Geek Bars For Your St. Patrick’s Day Crawl Power Grid By Jamie FreveleMar 15th, 2011, 12:55 pm You are seeing this message because you have javascript disabled. To use our slideshows you need to enable javascript. There's no cross domain hackery or tracking voodoo, it's just some sweet jQuery animations. Please, think of the animations. In the meantime, enjoy the html version below. I guess. If that's your thing. Allow Us To Explain Bar crawls might just not be your thing. But we think it would be hard to say no to a bar crawl that wound through the great watering holes and steamy dives of science fiction and fantasy literature and film. It is in many ways the ultimate bar crawl, through a diverse range of establishments both terrestrial, extra, and multi-dimensional. Come on. We promise that if you pass out we'll keep anyone from writing eldritch runes on your forehead with a sharpie. The Raven (Indiana Jones) When we first meet Marian Ravenwood at her Nepalese bar, The Raven, she is drinking a burly sherpa under the table. In fact, drinking sherpas under the table was a reliable secondary source of income for her. And a role model was born. Her intentions were to return to the States, but only "in style." The bar was left to her when the previous manager died, and after surviving Nazis, snakes, and the wrath of God, Marian went on to open The Raven's Nest in New York City after a failed attempt at a journalism career. Most likely, she bet she could drink her patrons under the table to make extra cash there too. You know, just for kicks. Mos Eisley Cantina (Star Wars) Depending on your opinion of Star Wars, Obi Wan’s warning that "this place can get kind of rough" is either completely appropriate or utterly laughable. Located centrally in "the most wretched hive of scum and villainy," the cantina is a creature feature unto itself. Dozens of strange beings rub shoulders and down the appropriate intoxicants in an uneasy truce -- demonstrated by the fact that in under an hour, one creature was shot and another lost its arm in two separate incidents and nary an eye (or its nearest equivalent) was batted. For those who love the film, the cantina is a cross-section of the diverse and imersive nature of the Star Wars universe. For others, it’s a laughably low-budget hodge-podge of weirdos in suits that apparently have butts for heads. The most intriguing facet of the cantina is, of course, what’s not in the film. In typical George Lucas fashion, every creature in the cantina has at least a species and a some kind of backstory if not an actual name. Some of this came from Lucas himself, others from the extended universe, but it's all gone toward one great and noble purpose: selling millions of action figures based off characters seen for a fraction of a second. The Bucket and The Mended Drum (Discworld) It is an unwavering rule of fiction that every city must have a bar that perfectly encapsulates all that the given metropolis has to offer in a single drinking establishment. Originally the “The Broken Drum” (motto: You Can’t Beat It), the Mended Drum has been the premiere watering hole of student wizards and city-dwelling na’er-do-wells in Ankh-Morpork. In a rough, over-crowded, often disgusting city the Mended Drum was an equally lurid backdrop for many a plot-hatching, and often a few head-hatchetings. So much so that the Drum’s furniture has to be replaced nightly, if not sooner, due to the traditional organized bar-fighting league that holds it’s matches there. In the more-than-a-little-mystical Discworld, the Drum is an epicenter of activity that draws people and ideas to it. When a coups, a riot, or even Music-With-Rocks-In comes to Ankh-Morpork, it’s certain to have started at the Drum. The Winchester (Shaun of the Dead) It's both your home away from home and the bane of your existence -- The Winchester is the go-to destination for Shaun and Ed, and the predictability is starting to get to Shaun's girlfriend Liz. But why stray from something you know so well, someplace where you know exactly what you're going to get, where you know every crevice and corner of the place… really, it's the ideal location after battling zombies. Or, in the event that zombies also infest your favorite watering hole, it's also the perfect place to battle them. Why? Because the juke box will provide the soundtrack (whether you want one or not). Lux (Lucifer's Piano Bar, post-Sandman) After deciding that he was just terrifically bored with overseeing Hell and playing into the whole sinner/saved dichotomy that God had set up way back when, the Devil himself left his realm of eternal torment and moved to southern California. And opened a piano bar. Lux might be beyond a few peoples wallets and possibly wardrobes, as an upscale piano bar in Los Angeles. Don’t stare at the waitress wearing a half mask, unless you want her to show you what’s underneath. And don’t heckle the piano player. He’s Lucifer Morningstar. The Prancing Pony (Lord of the Rings) Also known as The Inn of the Prancing Pony, this Middle Earth pub is where Frodo and the Hobbits first discovered pints and met Strider, or as they soon came to know him, Aragorn. It's also the place that J.R.R. Tolkein first met Strider, when he decided to put a mysterious hooded figure in the corner of the inn because it would be cool. Owned by Barliman Butterbur, it featured lodging for men and Hobbits alike. But, as we know, Aragorn wasn't the only one waiting for Frodo et al to show up at the Prancing Pony, and Saruman's spies tended to infest the place. And then there were the Ringwraiths, who wreaked havoc on the place, but that's the price for having the most popular/only pub in the area. Noonan's Bar (Hitman) Garth Ennis, best-known for his work on Preacher and Punisher, wrote a lesser-known series called Hitman, which took place within the regular DC universe. The comic starred--if you're familiar with Ennis, what else--a vagabond named Tommy Monaghan who shot people pretty frequently. For money, in fact. He also happened to possess x-ray vision and a bit of telepathy, making him a pretty good person to pay to kill other people. As with any good Ennis story, there's a lot of sitting around in bars and chatting going on. In Hitman, the bar is Noonan's Sleazy Bar, appropriately named based on its appearance and the amount of murderers that pop off there for a cold one after plying their trade. The owner of the bar, Sean Noonan, won the place in a poker game, because how else would people obtain establishments? He raised both his own son and Tommy since youth, and was a father figure to Tommy before getting killed by a mob hitman he was guarding. Considering Noonan's was a bar where hitmen liked to hang out, Sean's fate wasn't a particularly ironic one. Law of odds. Regardless of being surrounded by hitmen and generally unseemly types, most Ennis stories need a central hangout, it's usually some dive of a bar, and Noonan's was Tommy's place of choice. Noonan's was so important to Tommy, in fact, that he suffered from a bit of Nostalgia Heaven, wherein Noonan's Sleazy Bar was what Tommy envisioned in his Dying Dream. Quark's Bar (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) Quark's Bar, Grill, Gaming House, and Holosuite Arcade, or just Quark's, was an establishment run by Quark, a 24th century Ferengi on Deep Space 9's promenade. In addition to its patrons aboard the station, it attracted visitors from all over the universe and offered three levels for visitors to nosh, gossip, and fulfill their fantasies in the Holosuite Arcade. Like Earthly bars, it sometimes featured live music and happy hour discounts. Unlike the bars we have here, there are no Klingons to damage the aforementioned virtual reality gaming operations. It also prepared all of its food and drinks using replicators which, one time, gave everyone the Aphasia virus. Whoops. But hey - you’ve gotta break some eggs to make an omelette … or accidentally infect your customers with a space virus. Dabo! The Barrelhaven Inn (Bone) The Barrelhaven Inn is the northwestern-most bastion of civilization in the strange area that is The Valley. The beating heart of the rural Barrelhaven area, it's the nexus for such events as the Spring Festival with its many large bees, and the Great Cow Race. Travelers to this fine drinking establishment will be impressed with its fine selection of ales and backwoods charm. However, newcomers should be made aware that "money" is not accepted at the Inn. Lucius, the proprietor, enforces his pricing (two eggs for five fine ales) and is not afraid to impress patrons into servitude in order to pay off their debts. It's best not argue with this former Captain of the Queen's guard. Oblivion Bar (DC Comics) There's certainly a fair share of superhero and supervillain bars out there in the land of parody superhero fiction, but the DC universe has one of its own, straight up. The Oblivion Bar is where all the magic users hang out, in order to get away from all the normal people, and even the other science-based superheroes who insist that their powers are just some fancy not-yet-understood physics. Since the bar exists in a "pocket dimension" there are entrances Atlanta, New York, Gotham, Metropolis, New Orleans, Detroit, and possibly other locations, only visible to those with magical abilities. If you aren't magically inclined, you can only enter on the behest of a sorcerous friend, or, if you've managed to get a hold of an Oblivion Bar matchbook, by striking up. Bartender "Flippy" Deacon, master of telekinesis, will mix your drink without lifting a finger (he doesn't have any to lift, anyway), but try to start a fight and he’ll cut off your windpipe with his mind alone. Have a tip we should know? [email protected] Filed Under: BoneDC ComicsDiscworldIndiana JonesLuciferNeil GaimanShaun of the DeadStar Trek (franchise)Star Wars (franchise)Terry PratchettThe Lord of the RingsThe Sandman Follow The Mary Sue: Twitter Previous PostNext Post Previous PostNext Post
