Not Even Superman Can Save Asylum’s Airplane vs. Volcano
But...but where are the sharks? Are they on the plane? In the volcano? WHERE ARE THE SHARKS!?
Asylum, the mockbuster studio that brought us Sharknado and Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus has another masterpiece coming out this spring for those of us who love to hate or hate to love their terrible, terrible films. But this time, it’s based on a true story.
No word is available yet on exactly what is going to be “true” about Airplane vs. Volcano but my best guess is Asylum will use Brechtian symbolism and kitchen-sink drama to depict the power of the human spirit.
Just kidding, the only thing “true” about this movie is probably that planes and volcanoes are real things, as opposed to croctosquidopusses and robocopterghostsharks.
Although we will miss sharks, Tara Reid, and other things we’ve come to expect from an Asylum movie, Airplane vs. Volcano promises to be just as bat shit crazy as the studio’s other offerings. And oh yeah–Superman is in it. Or Dean Cain, that is.
Horror film reviewer Jimmy O of JoBlo.com had a cameo with Cain during the fifteen-day Airplane vs. Volcano shoot, and wrote about what it’s like to be a member of the Asylum crew.
An Asylum film runs a little differently for most of the cast and crew. Everything had to be handled swiftly and professionally. Even when part of the plane sounded as if it was going to collapse with a group of us adding weight just outside the cockpit.
So the production was rushed, and the sets were flimsy and dangerous? Nope, not what we expected at all from the studio that brought us Titanic II.
This new cinematic triumph is set to be released on March 28th, so it looks like it’ll be a while before the trailer creates an Internet “snarknado.” (See what I did there?)
So as a reminder of the quality of work we can expect from this addition to their canon, here’s an unforgettable scene from the 2009 classic Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. Yep, they’re definitely ready for an entire movie about a plane.
Criterion, start filling out the paperwork now.
- This isn’t an Asylum movie, it just wants to be
- I guarantee you Asylum volcanoes will not look as good as this NASA video
- As always, here’s the official trailer for Sharknado
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