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“I’m on the No Fly List? My Mom and Dad Are Gonna Be So Mad at Me,” Sobs Local Domestic Terrorist

What do you mean there's consequences for your actions???

UPDATE: The video referenced in the above tweet has been debunked by Daniel Dale, a reporter over at CNN. The person in the video was removed for not complying with the mask ordinance, he was NOT removed because he’s on the No Fly List. From what I can gather, there IS an attempt being made to get the Capital rioters on the No Fly List, but no word on it actually coming to pass yet.


Some people enter the new year with resolutions while others enter with woefully misguided ideas of revolution. In the textbook definition of “disappointed but not surprised,” a group of Trump supporters partaking in the worst LARPing session you ever did see stormed the Capitol last Wednesday. Why? Because they were still pressed about the results, re-results, and super turbo fighter max results of the election.

It’s been an … interesting start to 2021.

However, we’ve now officially reached the point where the entire thing is just… hilarious. That’s not to say folks weren’t poking fun at the situation before (because wow, that security, and LOL the FBI tweeted what now?), but that can be categorized as a coping mechanism for the dawning realization of how f*cked things have been in this country for a while now.

The humor I’m talking about comes from a genuine place of the pure, unadulterated joy of declaring, with your entire chest, “Ha,” and, furthermore, “HA!”


I thought I’d gotten my fill of that with Donald Trump having no access to social media, every platform banning him save for the folks who make Lite Brite. Maybe.

But now I’ve been treated to an entire hashtag dedicated to the entitled “I painted the confederate flag on my face because I like losing” rioters who have discovered that, gasp, there are consequences for their actions!

This is the lesson many are learning as they attempt to fly back home because, as it turns out, you can’t just hop on a plane and take off after you, checks notes, break into the Capitol building.

What about freedom of speech? Their all-American, hot dog eating, baseball watching right to attempt a coup on the Capitol?

Oh, you sweet summer moron, how many times must we tell you that freedom of speech does NOT mean free of consequences. I guess I can understand the confusion, after all, white privilege is one hell of a drug. These domestic terrorists would’ve gotten away with it, too, if not for that pesky accountability.

Twitter, of course, did what it did best and responded in the most appropriate ways possible.

I can’t think of a better follow-up to how 2021 started. I propose we all take some time out of the day to scroll through #NoFlyList to cleanse our palettes after last week.

Damn, I love this song.


(Image: ALEX EDELMAN/AFP via Getty Images)

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Briana (she/her - bisexual) is trying her best to cosplay as a responsible adult. Her writing tends to focus on the importance of representation, whether it’s through her multiple book series or the pieces she writes. After de-transforming from her magical girl state, she indulges in an ever-growing pile of manga, marathons too much anime, and dedicates an embarrassing amount of time to her Animal Crossing pumpkin patch (it's Halloween forever, deal with it Nook)