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McDonalds is Making Its Own Television Channel

And That's Terrible

Here is your creepy Newspeak sentence of the day:

McDonald’s move is part of a broader digital-age strategy by corporate America to create its own platforms to speak directly to customers in an environment uncluttered by other media.

Translated: McDonalds knows that while inside its stores you have no access to media which they have not approved, and they are committed to finding new and innovative digital-age strategies to take full advantage of that.

While the Los Angeles Times likens the trend of corporate entities attempting to create their own exclusive channels for media to average citizens sharing their lives with the world through social media, we can’t be the only ones slightly alarmed at the idea of McDonald’s newly announced television network. Before you panic, it’s only going to be airing inside McDonald’s restaurants, starting with 800 Central and Southern California franchises.

The dining areas of participating restaurants will be fitted with two high-definition 42- to 46-inch screens that will be visible from 70% of eating areas. Audio will be heard from the screen or ceiling speakers… The programming will be shown in a one-hour cycle consisting of installments or “pods” lasting 20 to 22 minutes. Each component will have several segments that include “The McDonald’s Achievers,” which will profile local high school and college athletes; “Mighty Moms,” a focus on local moms juggling home life with careers in sports such as coaching or training; “McDonald’s Channel Music News” about musical acts, tours and new releases; and Burnett’s “Vimby,” which will cover fashion, art, music, night life, lifestyle and culture news.

Only eight minutes of each hour will be actual commercials, and according to ChannelPort Communications, the brand management company in charge of the program, only one and a half minutes of that will be ads. Leland Edmondson, head of ChannelPort  said: “This network is not intended to be all about McDonald’s. It is all about the consumer.”

Color us not enthused.

(via Jezebel.)

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Susana Polo thought she'd get her Creative Writing degree from Oberlin, work a crap job, and fake it until she made it into comics. Instead she stumbled into a great job: founding and running this very website (she's Editor at Large now, very fancy). She's spoken at events like Geek Girl Con, New York Comic Con, and Comic Book City Con, wants to get a Batwoman tattoo and write a graphic novel, and one of her canine teeth is in backwards.