Man Eats Nothing but Candy for a Week
For the sake of science, a man named Robb Posch recently ate nothing but Christmas candy for an entire week, documenting his hunger, mental stability, and enjoyment of candy as the week progressed. Unlike the nutrition professor who ate a Twinkie every three hours for ten weeks (losing 27 pounds in the process), who at least took a vitamin pill and ate some vegetables, Posch ate 100% candy, nothing but.
Unsurprisingly for an experiment in which “mental stability” was one of the variables graphed, Posch’s sanity was tested:
After a week of candy, a few things became clear. I should specify only a few things became clear, because by that point a large portion of my brain had been starved to death.
First of all, candy is not filling. Sure, it may spoil your appetite, but that’s about as far as it goes. Secondly, it probably eats away at your brain faster than it does your teeth. This week certainly put me on the mental road toward becoming a mongoloid. Finally, apparently candy is really good for you.
To see just how much destruction this week had done to my body, I had weighed myself before starting. Somehow, I lost four pounds. I believe this is because candy is the new miracle weight loss secret! You might argue that it is due to violent malnourishment. I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.