Peru Wants to Make Sure You’re Never Nude at Machu Picchu, Stop Getting Naked There, Everyone

If you want to strip down at Machu Picchu, maybe keep the cutoffs on.
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Some people just really like to be naked, which is why we have things like nude beaches and homes, but Peru is putting the brakes on everyone’s favorite nude Inca Citadel—mostly because that’s not a thing. At least, it’s not supposed to be, but they’re having a problem with people dropping trou at Machu Picchu.

Apparently, some people got it in their heads that it would be a great idea to strip entirely naked (aside from the thick layer of sunblock to keep sensitive areas from burning that close to the equator, I assume) at Machu Picchu and post some pictures and videos on the Internet of their romping, cavorting, streaking, or whatever other oddball terms you want to apply to it.

It’s all documented on the website My Naked Trip (NSFW, which I’m hoping you guessed), which features the unique souvenirs and includes pictures of a man named Amichay Rab posing for pictures at Machu Picchu and other vacation spots while tastefully (?) hiding his “no-no zones” from the camera… most of the time. Though, there are some distant onlookers in the Machu Picchu shot who may have gotten a decent look.

Four American tourists were detained for pulling the same stunt in recent weeks, and a group of Canadian and Australian tourists were caught doing the same thing. It all seems to stem from an incident back in 2013, when two tourists were videotaped by onlookers as they streaked across the ancient ruins (again, NSFW, just in case).

Whoever captured the stunt on video seems amused, but Peruvian officials aren’t. Alfredo Mormontoy Atayupanqui, director of archaeological resources for Peru’s Ministry of Culture, told CNN, “There are places in the world that people can get naked, but not all places are (appropriate) for getting undressed.” Which sounds like the working title of a children’s book to teach your kids not to run around naked in public.

They’re putting measures in place to stop the incidents from happening such as requiring that all visitors to the ruins be escorted by an official guide and go on a predetermined route, where there will be absolutely no funny business. That’s also meant to help with the tourist spot’s overcrowding problem, which is good, because the only thing worse than a nudity problem is a nudity and overcrowding problem together.

“Hey, watch where you’re poking that!” That’s how things just get awkward. Take a cue from Tobias Fünke (but just this once) and maybe just keep your clothes on, everyone.

(via CNN, image via Arrested Development)

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Dan Van Winkle
Dan Van Winkle (he) is an editor and manager who has been working in digital media since 2013, first at now-defunct Geekosystem (RIP), and then at The Mary Sue starting in 2014, specializing in gaming, science, and technology. Outside of his professional experience, he has been active in video game modding and development as a hobby for many years. He lives in North Carolina with Lisa Brown (his wife) and Liz Lemon (their dog), both of whom are the best, and you will regret challenging him at Smash Bros.