What Better Way to Honor Victorious Olympians Than to Put Their Penises On Display?
Yes, those are what you think they are. Although the Icelandic Men’s Olympic Handball Team was eliminated yesterday, a few of its members can make a claim that few other professional handball players can. Guðjón Valur Sigurðsson, Ingimundur Ingimundarson, and the rest of the 2008 silver-medalists can say that they are featured in the Icelandic Phallological Museum. So, I guess handball is kind of a big deal in Iceland, huh?
There’s not a lot that’s too hard to get about the Icelandic Phallological Museum; it’s a museum featuring every manner of dork, dong, wanger, twanger, stick, wick, and one-eyed love python imaginable. They have big penises, small penises, human penises, animal penises, and, as of 2008, professional handball player penises.
The 2008 Beijing Olympics were good to the Icelandic National Handball Team. When they were featured in the gold medal finals, over 85% of the island nation’s relatively small population tuned in to watch the match. Despite the team losing to the French team, the athletes were national heroes. Over 40,000 Icelanders packed the streets of Reykjavík to welcome home their almost-champions. Even the fine folks over at the Icelandic Phallological Museum caught handball fever and decided to celebrate the team with a silver statuette for each member’s typpið (that’s Icelandic for phallus).
In case you were wondering, the team didn’t line up after the game to make plaster casts. Thorgerdur Sigurdardottir, the artist behind the statuettes, said that she didn’t use any models, but sculpted the team member’s members from experience (from sculpting johnsons in the past, not from personal intimacy with any of the team members). The ding-a-lings are displayed in a glass case underneath a photo of the 2008 team and tour guides are encouraged to guess which one belongs to which player.
So what do you think? Which typpið belongs to Snorri Guðjónsson? Or what about Ásgeir Örn Hallgrímsson? I think we can all tell which one belongs to all-star right-back Ólafur Stefánsson!
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*Final count of different names for penis on this page: ~16
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