Well, it finally happened. Personally, I’ve been wondering what the lunatic fringe right will want to scream about now that mask mandates are obsolete, and those massive caravans never showed up on the border. Today the other shoe dropped: Hunter Biden has pled guilty to two tax evasion charges and has copped a plea deal with federal prosecutors to resolve a gun charge.
Whiny conservative babies love to be aggrieved and they have a weird hate boner for President Biden’s sole surviving son from his first marriage. I don’t know why and frankly, I don’t care to dive into their twisted psychology. We’ve suffered through years of hearing them yell nonsense about “Hunter Biden’s laptop” and now, with these totally unrelated misdemeanors, they will undoubtedly continue to take up all the air in the room to make this “But Her Emails Pt 2: Electric Boogaloo.”
Let’s get into the actual facts first, though, and what these charges entail. Per CNN:
As part of the plea agreement, the Justice Department has agreed to recommend a sentence of probation for the two counts of failing to pay taxes in a timely matter for the years 2017 and 2018, according to sources. Hunter Biden owed at least $100,000 in federal taxes for 2017, and at least $100,000 in 2018, but did not pay what was due to the Internal Revenue Service by the deadlines.
A judge will have the final say on any sentence.
First and foremost, as a friendly reminder: the IRS doesn’t play, ever. Never ever forget what took Al Capone down. Was it murder? Absolutely not (although he did a lot of that.) It was taxes. Hunter Biden got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to and is living with the consequences. It happens. Let those among us who have never exceeded the speed limit cast the first stone because no one is perfect here and certainly no one is defending Hunter Biden. You screw up, face the music for your actions, and you move on. At least that’s what you do if you’re not a QAnon-loving ghoul.
The President and First Lady released a simple statement, per CNN:
“The President and First Lady love their son and support him as he continues to rebuild his life. We will have no further comment,” said White House spokesman Ian Sams.
Naturally, Donald Trump—who has been found liable for sexual abuse and charged with a litany of crimes in multiple states—thinks now is an appropriate time to throw boulders in his glass house. Here’s his statement to give you a taster of what’s coming for the Presidential election season. Per the above article:
Trump criticized the Hunter Biden plea deal on Truth Social.
‘Wow! The corrupt Biden DOJ just cleared up hundreds of years of criminal liability by giving Hunter Biden a mere “traffic ticket.” Our system is BROKEN!’
So, look. What we won’t do for the next year and some change is defend this. Shit happens. Hunter Biden is facing the music, and who cares?! Really? He’s not running for President, and unlike Trump, President Biden hasn’t planted his family in the White House and given them busy work jobs while they collectively strip this country for parts.
I don’t think for a second any of the conservatives who are about to scream nonstop about this over a year actually care. They just think this makes their position stronger, and when you yell about something non-stop, the other side tends to want to defend themselves. This is what the good guys, aka non-conservative fascists who love democracy and hate trying to steal elections and then siccing a mob on the legislative branch, always fall prey to. Do not let these bad-faith dunderheads control the narrative. Put them on the defense. Make them meet you on your level.
So how do you do that?
Well, friends, you’re in luck, because I have the answer and it’s very simple. It is based on one of my favorite sayings that has been attributed to many people over the years: “I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”
When you argue with someone who has a bad-faith position, you lose. Always. So the key is never actually to engage in their argument. If someone is screaming about Hunter Biden’s tax evasion, drive them bonkers with a simple strategy: Refuse to understand who Hunter Biden is. Meet every stupid, air-sucking waste of your time with answers such as: “Who?!” “Never heard of him.” “You’re talking nonsense. President Biden doesn’t have a son; (scoff) I’d think I’d know.”
I guarantee you this will stop obnoxious trolls in their tracks. They want you to argue with them on the merits of the case. They are not prepared for you to not only fail to acknowledge that but deny objective truth in their faces (you know, what they do all the time.) They will stop what they’re doing and try to explain who Hunter Biden is. They may even pull up articles on their phones to prove to you. All you have to do is deny their existence. “Stop lying to me. Are you OK!? This is fake news; I thought you were better than that.”
What this will accomplish, at least on an individual level, is to preserve your sanity. You’ve stopped a tantrum through misdirection and not met bad-faith arguments on the battlefield. As an added bonus, each time the conservative tries to bring any talking point up you can simply tell them: “Why would I listen to you?! You think the President has an imaginary son!”
I can’t say what the national news media will do here, but on an individual level, it will make the conservatives in your life exasperated and not want to talk to you about this because they can’t get the reaction they want out of you. That, my friends, is a win.
(featured image: Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
