Research Shows: The Hulk and President Obama Should Team Up to Fight Aliens
It Came From Outer Space
Let this post be a lesson to you. Sometimes, when you do a Google Image search for some unrelated terms, the Internet has exactly what you need. Thanks Internet. You’re still kinda creepy sometimes, but I love you.
National Geographic, which, considering the precise purview implied in their title, you’d think wouldn’t bee to concerned with this, have run an extensive poll trying to figure out what Americans think of alien life, UFOs, and the proper personal and governmental response to an alien visitation.
For some reason this poll also included asking which fictional characters would be best to call upon if aliens showed up, which, understandably, has tickled our fancy. They also asked which presidential candidate would do a better job with it, and the consensus just might be Barak Obama with all the powers of the Hulk.
According to their findings, 36% of American believe that aliens exist. And depending on how the question was worded, I’m okay with that. After all, considering the utter vastness of the universe, it seems hubristic to think that we’re the only sentient life to ever evolve. Of course, 1 in 10 Americans apparently believe that they’ve witnessed a UFO, 79% believe that there’s been some kind of government cover up, and 55% think there is a real life Men in Black-type organization that does the covering up.
Which is odd, because I thought only 26% of Americans thought that aliens exist in the first place? Apparently 48% are unsure, which still doesn’t explain the 5% who don’t believe that aliens exist but also believe the government is covering them up. So I’m calling some shenanigans there. I’m also calling shenanigans on this next tidbit:
If angry aliens attacked Earth, the largest group of people thinks that the Hulk would be the best choice to stop them, followed by Batman and Spider-Man. Now, understand, I’m one of the biggest Batman fans there is, but the idea of tapping him in an alien invasion is laughable. Sure, the guy can (and has) beaten the pants off the Predator, but alien invasions are beyond his pay grade. Same thing for Spider-Man. As for the Hulk, I’m still not sure how we got him to fight aliens and only aliens in The Avengers. No, I think we can all agree that alien invasion duties fall to either teams of superheroes like the Justice League, the Avengers, the X-Men, the Fantastic Four, or maybe a heavy hitting, space-related hero like Superman.
Maybe the people who took the poll actually meant She-Hulk, who combines all the strength and abilities of the Hulk with a litigator’s talent for negotiation and compromise. Once she’s done with all the fighting and convinces everybody to get down to peace talks, Wonder Woman can step in with the world’s greatest talent for forging peaceful alliances where the alternative is swift Amazonian justice.
And here’s an opinion poll question we can really get behind: Which presidential candidate would be best equipped to navigate an alien invasion? 65% think Barak Obama has more chops than Mitt Romney. Obviously they both should start brushing up on Bill Pullman’s speech from Independence Day if they want to get it right.
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