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eBay Listing For “VERY HAUNTED” 2007 Apple Macbook Is Stupidly, Beautifully Spoopy

Our source for this is Business Insider. Business. Insider.

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There are few members of the Internet I’m more partial to than the weirdos who post allegedly possessed items for sale on Craigslist or eBay, and in the case of the “computer that works great and may also be haunted by a ghost or specter,” I kind of don’t care if the seller is sincere or not. I just want to believe.

As the seller of the $338 previously used Macbook repeatedly asserts, he is “NOT a computer expert,” but ever since he left his laptop overnight in a graveyard, the machine has developed some extra features:

Notable Facts: Not only was there a full moon on the night I left the laptop in the graveyard, but there were also reports of an eerie green fog in the area, which people said caused them to feel a sense of intense nostalgia. I later read that there was an anomalous electrical storm near that selfsame evening. Furthermore, there were police reports of a terrifying old crone capering through a contiguous neighborhood, setting trash cans ablaze and chanting incantations or curses, laughing and shrieking and brandishing a sharpened axe with a pentagram carved into the hilt. I’m NOT a computer expert, so I’m not sure which of these anomalous entities might have precipitated the haunting, but I thought it best to include all here.

Screenshot 2015-02-10 at 1.20.06 PM

Regardless of which anomalous entity chose the Macbook as its home (Moloch the Corruptor is my bet), its methods of haunting are fairly innocuous:

I noticed that ALL of my songs in iTunes had become scary or haunted. Second, the desktop background was changed to a scary photo. The following week, we (my wife, Barbie, and I) noticed some of our stuff around the house had been mysteriously rearranged. One night, we went out to dinner with my wife’s parents and their friends and some people from my wife’s work and some of their parents. When we came home, my baseball cards were all out of order and my wife’s rare American coins were in total disarray. To make matters spookier, I occasionally saw the computer levitating. In some cases the screen and keyboard would open and shut quickly, as though the computer were attempting to speak.

A computer that talks like a Muppet vegetable, casually levitates, and wreaks its revenge on the realm of the living by cataloging Americana might sound harmless, but the Mac’s current owners say they’ve also had to invest in a psychic medium’s services and “expensive incense to burn around the computer just before bedtime.” But really, they “just need to clear out space around the house and decided to get rid of this (haunted) laptop.”

Included in the sale will be several Edgar Allan Poe stories the ghost pasted into text docs on the desktop. Who wants to pool their funds with me?

(via Boosnest Spoopyspider)

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