What’s Breath of the Wild anyway? Heh heh heh!
*nervously adjusts tie*
Here at miHoYo, the studio that designed Genshin Impact, we’ve never even heard of the the critically acclaimed masterpiece that is The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Whatever gave you that idea?
*sees you looking down at the “how can we rip off Breath of the Wild” memo on his desk*
*pours coffee on it*
Whoops! Clumsy me! I can be such a klutz sometimes *hits intercom* Janet can you bring me up so more coffee please? I had a little accident! No, no that kind of—just bring it up. Heh heh anywho! We’ve literally never even heard of that game. I mean we’ve heard of it but only after we completed Genshin Impact. And when we did, we thought “Hey wow! They used huge landscape shots in their game too!” What a coincidence! It’s almost like they stole the idea from us, you know? And truth be told, we were inspired by some other games. THAT WE DIDN’T STEAL FROM. THEY STOLE FROM US. WE SWEAR. Would you like to know what they are? I have a Powerpoint presentation on just that! Let me show you.
*opens a Powerpoint called “How We Ripped Off Breath Of The Wild*
WRONG ONE.
*throws computer out the window*
That was an old model! So buggy! Wanted to get it replaced anyway! How about I just tell you about the games that we were inspired by—I mean—ripped off by. Because they all did. They all ripped us off. Everyone one. Starting with this one that came out WAY before Genshin Impact ever did! They must have found our old notes and made this game before we even could!
10. The Last Story
This is a great game that not a lot of people have heard of! Why? Because the developers are shameless copycats! First of all, The Last Story is an RPG. And we’re also an RPG. Preeeeetty suspicious right?
The game is about a group of young teenage mercenaries who are seeking their fortune in the world. After chasing some monsters into some abandoned ruins, one of the mercenaries, a boy named Zael, discovers an ancient power locked away inside the ruins. He is blessed by a god-like being called “The Outsider” and is able to now use a host of magical powers and abilities. We have gods in our game too! Seven of them, actually! And they grant magical abilities as well! Copycats!
But anyway, with his newfound power, Zael and his team of mercenaries are swept in a war between two island nations that will change the face of the world forever!
Where the game really rips us off is that you have an entire cast of mercenaries in your party, each with their own special abilities and combat skills. The combat of the game is all about using your team’s powers in synergy with each other to defeat monsters. And I’m like, “WOW. WONDER WHERE YOU GOT THAT IDEA FROM?” The game also features a lot of combat that requires you to use the environment to your advantage. And I’m like, “lol.” Next they’ll be taking our totally original idea to ambush enemies in the wild by blowing up explosive barrels with arrows.
Also, each of the characters has an endearing backstory and budding romantic relationship with one another, and the main character Zael has a beautiful romance with a princess. But WE don’t have any romance options because we’re ENTIRELY ORIGINAL.
9. Nier Automata
Here’s another game that totally ripped us off. It’s about a pair of androids that look like adorable and well-dressed young people who have to travel across vast landscapes because of plot reasons. And wow, like they didn’t even try to hide the fact that they were copying from us. The difference is that our world is equally cute and adorable and their world is super creepy and is populated by robots searching for the meaning of life. WAY TO COMPLICATE THINGS GUYS! Isn’t the meaning of life in a Japanese RPG just finding weapons and gaining experience points? What’s wrong with that? Why do you have to convolute everything.
This game also has fun and fast-paced hack-and-slash combat, and main characters that are ridiculously good at running in heels. And I’m like OUR CHARACTERS CAN DO THAT TOO. Sure, they can’t do it while running 50 miles an hour while blindfolded like Nier Automata‘s 2B can, but they get pretty close! This game also doesn’t have any cool magic like we do in ours, but you can fight with holographic weapons that are summoned by your flying robot companion that kind of function like spells?
And speaking of flying robots, you can use that flying robot of yours to glide across distances, but you don’t have a stamina meter that drains while you do so, because they weren’t creative enough to think of that. We see through you, Nier Automata, can’t rip us off that easily. Anyway, this game is for people who like doing un-fun things like thinking about where we go when we die, and not fun things like being cute and fighting regular, non-existential monsters!
8. Horizon Zero Dawn
Another PERFECT example of a scammy game that totally scammed us out of our entirely original ideas! This game is about a young woman named Aloy who lives in a post-apocalyptic future where the world is ruled by robot dinosaurs! Well … they don’t have an organized government per se, but they express their absolute authority by eating people. Young Aloy has to embark on a quest to find the secrets of the ancient technology responsible for the dinosaurs, while discovering bits about her own past as well. How is it like our better-funner-prettier game? Expansive landscapes and tactical battles with monsters. Again, our idea.
7. Final Fantasy XV
Final Fantasy XV is about a group of pop idols—I mean, well-dressed warrior nobles—who roam the countryside in their sweet ass car while trying to save their realm from destruction. It’s literally just a group of hot people in the wilderness fighting things with tactical RPG combat. OUR FORMULA. Def no BOTW inspo here. That game only features one wayward hottie, these games have MANY.
6. Okami
Okami is another game that totally ripped us off, even though it was made like a decade before. Like our game, it features beautiful, lush, and totally original landscapes to travel through and fight monsters. Unlike our game, you have to run through them as a dirty wolf and not a preternaturally gorgeous human being.
Okami is a game about a wolf-goddess who is resurrected in mythical Japan in order to slay all sorts of ancient evils plaguing the land. And I’m like, “WE’VE GOT ANCIENT EVILS PLAGUING THE LAND TOO.” But we give you MULTIPLE COMPANIONS to help you do it and they’re all REALLY ADORABLE. In Okami, you only have ONE COMPANION that you don’t get to PLAY AS. Rip-off, am I right?
The game also features some amazing hack-and-slash combat, but it’s only amazing because we came up with it first. The game also allows you to perform magic by pausing the game and drawing on the screen with a magical brush. How boring is that? See, in Genshin Impact, you don’t have to pause to use magic, you can just switch to a magical character and do magic. Then you can switch back and use a sword or something!
You can use swords in Okami too, and yes they are totally decorative and have a lot of bells and whistles that have no practical combat application whatsoever, and so do ours. It’s kind of embarrassing how much they ripped us off. Next, they’ll be using our entirely original idea of using a stamina meter in order to climb up mountains and things! LOL! It’s really such a shame because this could honestly be one of the most original games of all time if they totally didn’t copy us.
5. Shadow of The Colossus
Someone must have a time machine, because this game managed to rip us off DECADES before we came out with Genshin Impact. You play as a young boy named Wander, who travels to the breathtaking vistas of the Forbidden Lands in order to revive the corpse of his friend. When he arrives in the land, a mysterious god tells Wander that he has to kill 16 colossi (towering monsters of flesh and stone) in order to steal their power and complete the resurrection spell. The landscapes of the game are gorgeous. So gorgeous that they MUST have lifted them from us, time travel paradox implications be damned.
4. Xenoblade Chronicles 3
Oh look, another group of young hotties venturing out into a breathtaking open world in order to figure out its mysterious secrets. Wonder where they got that from? I will give this game some props though, because these kids aren’t trying to fight some tired-old ancient evil, they’re looking to end the military-industrial complex. The group hails from two great nations who are at constant war with one another, and these magical youths must go on a journey to uncover the war’s origins and end it once and for all.
3. Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch
Ya like cute graphics? Adorable little monsters? Sure ya do. You’re a Genshin Impact fan! This is the story of a young boy named Oliver who ventures out into the world to revive his mother. During his quest, he meets gaggles of little creatures that he can turn into “familiars” and make them fight on his behalf. So they took our formula: “assemble a group of cute people and make them fight” and just replaced “people” with “monsters”. I will give them some points, however: all of the cutscenes were animated by Studio Ghibli. I have to admit, they did us one better there.
2. Persona 5 Royal
If you like loooong games like Genshin Impact, chances are you like just screwing around.
You know … exploring! Side quests! More exploring! Finding cool weapons! Chatting up bokoboblins—I mean, hotties! Dating those hotties! Dating multiple hotties at the same time. Watching the fur fly when those hotties find out about each other and then team up to make your life hell! Persona 5 has all of that AND MORE. If you feel the need to log hundreds and potentially thousands of hours into one title, this is the game for you. The main story is OVER 100 HOURS LONG and that’s not even counting SIDEQUESTS. Plus this game is also a DATING SIM that allows you to fall in love with multiple different partners throughout the story so the replay value is ASTRONOMICAL.
1. Monster Hunter World
Maybe you’re sick of cute graphics. Maybe you’re sick of adorable little characters with sleek little weapons fighting cartoonish monsters. Maybe you want some real blood and guts. Monster Hunter World is just grimdark reboot of Genshin Impact that trades story for violence. Gone are the svelte little adventurers, they would never survive this world. They’ve been replaced by hulking meatheads with swords that are twice as long as their bodies. And these meatheads need weapons this big to fight the ferocious and brutal monsters that inhabit the world. You want a game that’s heavy on combat and exploration but light on story? This is the game for you.
So there! You see? All the games that ripped us off while we were making Genshin Impact. I can’t blame them, though. It’s really just the price of originality. Not all of us can think up an exploration-based game where a beautiful, cell-shaded environment is just as much of a character as the main story itself. Not all of us can think up a game where we have to creatively use the environment in order to accomplish combat objectives. Not all of us can create a game that delivers most of its emotional impact through sprawling mountain rangers, rolling fields, and mega-sized mythical ruins in order to inspire a sense of awe in the player.
ONLY Genshin of the Wild—I mean—Breath of the Impact—I mean THE LEGEND OF GENSHIN: IMPACT OF THE WILD—I mean OUR GAME can do that. Because it’s OURS! It’s ORIGINAL! AND IF YOU DON’T THINK SO YOU CAN TAKE THIS MANILA ENVELOPE MARKED “HOW WE RIPPED OFF B.O.T.W,” HOLD IT OVER YOUR HEAD, AND GLIDE YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS WINDOW AND HOPE THAT YOUR STAMINA METER HOLDS OUT FOR AS LONG AS LINK’S DOES. I MEAN—
Alright, you might have gotten us there.
(featured image: Hoyoverse / ufotable)
