There's no cross domain hackery or tracking voodoo, it's just some sweet jQuery animations.
Please, think of the animations.
In the meantime, enjoy the html version below. I guess. If that's your thing.
Happy Fun Murder Family Times
Rebecca: The Bolton/Snow clan, bonding over sadism and torturing Theon Greyjoy. The family that flays together, stays together.
Jill: I loved this scene. "God, Ramsay, you can't do anything right!" *sees Theon/Reek trained like a dog* "Ok, you're cool."
Fun With Editing
Rebecca: Theon being tortured (mentally, not physically this time)—cut to sausage. Can I start a fanclub for whatever penis joke-obsessed 12-year-old editor did this?
Jill: I really hope they continue this trend throughout the season.
Rebecca: Walda Bolton (formerly Walda Frey), known as "Fat Walda" in the books, got married into the crazy murder family, but she's still smiling. Thank you, Walda. I needed that.
Jill: She is SO happy to be there. Leave now, Walda, while you still can.
Bran's Little Warging Problem
Game of Thrones-style. What, no banner?
Jill: Bran woke up and was all, "I'm sooooo hungry." And I was all, "Summer, you are the biggest jerk. Share that deer with the rest of the class."
Hi There, Ned Stark's Eye!
Rebecca: This here-and-gone-ahead shot of Ned Stark during Bran's weirwood trip made me surprisingly emotional.
Jill: The Great Eye is ever watchful.
Rebecca: Bad dragons, bad dragons, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
Jill: Shadow and flame.
The Many Stinkfaces of Stannis Baratheon
Rebecca: My love.
Jill: I...am not going to touch this one.
‘There is Only One Hell, Princess. The One We Live In Now.’
Rebecca: Damn, Melisandre. So metal. Now I want an AU where Team Dragonstone is an '80s hair band.
Jill: Melisandre is in her dark, brooding phase, ok? Leave her alone.
Let's Talk Girl Talk!
Rebecca: Melisandre: "Religion gods good evil DEATH." Shireen: "Yeah but you burned those people alive though." *hugs her*
Jill: I love how unafraid Shireen is of Melisandre, even knowing what's just gone down. Shireen for the Iron Throne!!
Did... Did Joffrey Just Say Something Smart? And Nice?
Jill: At first I was like. But then I was like.
Rebecca: Sansa's reaction to Joffrey's line about finding time for wisdom is
golden. And then he chops up Tyrion's book with a sword, and all is back to normal. Speaking of the sword...
That Guy Who Suggested Joffrey Name His Sword 'Happiness'
Someone actually did! "Stormbreaker! Happiness! Widow's Wail! Wolfsbane!" Pure-hearted King's Landing court member, let me love you.
Jill: Now I kinda wished we RiffTraxed these episodes just so we could shout out our own suggestions: "Momma's Boy!" "This Will Never Cut Flesh!" "Slap Happy!"
Olenna Giving Her Son the Brushoff
Rebecca: Go away, Mace. Adults are talking.
Jill: Right you are, mother!
Ellaria Sand's Orange, Beaded, Pointy-Shouldered Formal Jumpsuit
Rebecca: I don't know whether to be horrified or impressed.
Jill: DISCO FABULOUS!
Sansa Wearing Ser Dontos' Necklace
Rebecca: No, I'm not getting emotional about Sansa Stark's inherent goodness. I'm fine.
Jill: This is actually Sansa's new happy face. She is over the moon she's not sitting where Margaery is right now.
'Did You Just Bow?'
Rebecca: Cersei the Mean Girl. One time Rhaegar Targaryen met her at a tournament, and he told her she was pretty.
Jill: Such a Heather.
'But You Love Him'
Jill: Internal monologue - "Oh god, say something. What do I say? She's staring me down. You're still not saying anything. Shit, the scene is over."
Loras and Oberyn Getting Their Flirt On
Jill: *blushing forever*
Varys Is Done With Everything
Rebecca: Go rewatch the wedding scenes and do nothing but pay attention to Varys' facial expressions. It'll be worth it.
Jill: I've had that look at many a wedding.
And So Is Margaery
Rebecca: Good: The "I hate you so much" facial expressions Margaery shoots Joffrey when he's not looking. Bad: Margaery's necklace. After last week's episode I expected something gaudy and amazing, and instead you give me that bauble from Claire's?! Disappointed.
Jill: I'm sad they didn't get a first dance. Not.
'And Neither Will You'
Rebecca: My favorite moment in the entire episode. In the past Loras has proven himself woefully unmatched at dealing with the snarkmaster Lannisters, so when Jaime brings his claws out I felt bad for him... until these four words.
Rebecca: What was my favorite part of this conversation? Oberyn continuing to not let the Lannisters off the hook for what happened to his sister? Him casually dropping in an “Oh hey remember your daughter’s living with us now?” Him reminding Cersei that she’s the former queen regent like four times in a three-minute span? Impossible to choose.
Jill: I'm going with "former Queen Regent."
'There's Been Too Much Amusement Here Today''
Rebecca: "Wedding receptions aren't supposed to be
fun." Oh, Joffrey, part of me will miss having you around.
Jill: None of me will.
'Look, the Pie!'
Rebecca: This is how I want to defuse all tense situations from now on.
Jill: Bravo, Margaery, bravo.
Rebecca: I was expecting to be happy at Joffrey's death. I was not expecting to
also be struck with an attack of the feels at his parents rushing to his side while he chokes to death.
Jill: Literally no one else moving an inch toward Joffrey.
Au Revoir, King Douchebag
Rebecca: But, all in all, I'm still pretty happy about it.
Jill: PURPLE RAIN! PUUUURPLE RAINNNN!
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Are you done freaking out about
last Sunday’s ? ‘Cause Jill and I aren’t. We took screencaps of our 25 favorite moments so we can all get together and reminisce about what an amazing 47 minutes of television that was. Did we not include your favorite? (There are, after all, so many good ones.) Drop us a comment. Game of Thrones
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