It’s Friday, so that means — oh, come on, do we really have to explain this to you every week? It’s Follow Friday! You know the drill. This week we’re recommending our new favorite sanity-depleting, psychologically horrifying Twitter (sorry, Night Vale!), Dread Singles.
Who They Are
It’s more fun not knowing who the genius behind these creepy tweets is, but if you’re desperate to put a face to a name, we know that Dread Singles bears more than a passing connection to Grimalkin Press, a small independent press run by Jordan Shiveley, which recently put out a book called Crying in Front Of Your Dog And Other Stories by Phil McAndrews (Shively’s worth a follow, too, by the way).
But really, we much prefer imagining that the tweets arise spontaneously from the mouthless voice of a sleeping abomination that lives in the void between consciousness and oblivion. It’s just so much more appealing that way.
Why You Should Follow
If you loved our recommendation of Welcome to Night Vale’s Twitter account two weeks back, then this is right up your alley. While it’s not an “H.P. Lovecraft mash up,” the feed is definitely inspired in some small part by the surreal psychological horrors that Lovecraft made so popular. You know, like slithering torments with their mouths raised to the heavens. That sort of thing.
Basically, the premise is this: you know those inane “hot singles in your area” ads you see  on the Internet all the time? These tweets start out kind of like that, and then they immediately descend into madness-inducing horror. But a decidedly tongue-in-cheek, modern type of horror that’s not afraid to make references to Progressive Auto Insurance or Reddit AMA threads.
Also, if you’re anything like me, you are equal parts tired of being single and tired of being pandered to by those inane ads on the Internet that are trying to get you laid, the idea of single people being powerful and terrifying abominations is extra-compelling. Every time I read one of these tweets, I feel that much better about myself. I’m a single woman! The armies of the forlorn damned are at the command of my unfurled talons! Darkness descends in my treacherous wake!
It’s a total confidence booster, is my point.
Great Recent Tweets
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, SHEATHING THEMSELVES IN UNHOLY SPLENDOR, SKIN TAUT AND TRANSLUCENT, CLOTHES WRITHING, HISSING, SLIMMING
— Dread Singles (@hottestsingles) January 30, 2014
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA,CATEGORIZING THE LOST CODICE OF CRUELTIES,STEEPING THE PAGES OF THEIR GRIMOIRES IN INNOCENT BLOOD,BOOKCLUBS HEEEYYY
— Dread Singles (@hottestsingles) January 27, 2014
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA,ATTENDING CONCLAVES OF THE FORGOTTEN,RENEWING BLOOD OATHS TO THE CRIMSON INFANT KING, SCHEDULING AUTOPAY SACRIFICES — Dread Singles (@hottestsingles) January 26, 2014
They also like to retweet especially good @replied homages as well.
@hottestsingles HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, FORMING A TAINTED ALTAR, REPURPOSING FOUND SOULS, UPLOADING THE TUTORIAL TO PINTEREST — Anthony Gurganious (@The_Stampi) January 29, 2014
And occasionally they’ll also tweet out images.
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA pic.twitter.com/259MfjcGPr
— Dread Singles (@hottestsingles) January 12, 2014
(via @hottestsingles on Twitter)
- Last Friday we recommended John Green, who’s a little more normalÂ
- Before that it was Welcome to Night Vale, which is less so
- And then there was LOL My Thesis, which is great
