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‘E!’ Needs to Abort This Nick Cannon Show

The worst timeline.

The last image I saw before my soul left my body. Title card for "Who's Having My Baby? With Nick Cannon Hosted By Kevin Hart.

On March 6, Nick Cannon posted an ominous tweet hinting that he had more baby news coming. Considering he’s in the news more about having a child than anything else this was alarming to hear. Following his divorce from Mariah Carey in 2016, he’s been on a baby tour, proudly conceiving 10 children across five women. This is in addition to the two kids he had with Carey early in their marriage. After the first few children, every baby announcement or maternity shoot comes with its own meme format. So, in seeing this tweet many braced themselves. Some replies ratioed him in the process.

The next day, Nick Cannon announced he was launching a game show hosted by Kevin Hart. Here, women compete to be the next mother of his child on E!. April Fool’s Day is just a few weeks away, but I hope this is a really elaborate joke. However, so far, I don’t know because E! is also sharing the news. Unnamed sources told Variety this is a teaser for a sketch coming to a real show Hart is launching. They also told the publication that this is separate from Hart’s E! show Celebrity Game Face. (UPDATE 3/8/2023: Cannon revealed midday that this was in promotion for a Hart v. Cannon prank show entitled Celebrity Prank Wars.)

Despite never wanting to root for Kevin Hart (until he changes), I want this to be a sketch. Real or not, the fact that—between Cannon’s views on contraception and society’s fixation on marriage shows—Who’s Having My Baby With Nick Cannon? is believable is unsettling.

Nick Cannon has a sex problem

It’s hard to talk about Cannon’s very public sexual escapades without getting into a lot of other issues. However, it’s important because he’s a person with influence in promoting unsafe sex and risky life choices that affect children. He brags about never using a condom to the point that the host of Cannon’s show, Hart, sent him a large vending machine of condoms once. Cannon told Entertainment, that he has no plans on slowing down and that it’s “up to God.”

The other issue: Black relationships are heavily policed in and outside of our communities. Since first trafficked to the U.S. in the 1600s, our autonomy has been held over us and taken away. If it’s not literal control in the form of sexual assault, forced sterilization, and having our children taken from us, it’s cultural ones like stereotypes that affect every aspect of our lives. As we’ve seen with the white nationalists’ interest in cutting access to abortion, the effort to police Black and brown people thriving has even affected white women and others.

However, this has gotten way out of hand. Cannon, alongside others like Elon Musk, don’t respect themselves or the children they already have. Many defend Cannon claiming that “rich people should be able to have as many kids as they want” without realizing the eugenics logic behind that idea. This concept around for a while, but it’s growing again amid global conflicts and existential threats. Despite Cannon’s claims, there is no has no time to spend with all of his children the way they deserve.

While currently many of his children’s mothers have defended him, at least one broke (Bri Tiesi) down on social media about struggling alone with a newborn crying at midnight. (Before ultimately, still defending him.) Taking care of a child is a selfless act, but choosing to bring one into this world is a selfish one—especially for the purposes of entertainment.

(featured image: E!)

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(she/her) Award-winning artist and blogger with experience and education in graphic design, art history, and museum studies. This resident of the yeeHaw land spends most of her time watching movies, reading and playing the same handful of video games—even as the playtime on Steam reaches the quadruple digits. Currently playing: Balder's Gate 3, Apex Legends, and CS:GO.