So barring the conversation about all the weird shit that went on with the original Cyberpunk 2077, I’m trying to figure to some shit out about my boy Dave.
No, NOT DAVE MATTHEWS. SWEET JESUS GOD WHY WOULD YOU EVER THINK I MEANT DAVE MATTHEWS. HE AND HIS ENTIRE BAND CAN GO CRAWL UNDER ROCKS SOMEWHERE UNTIL THE SUN EXPLODES SO I DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO HIS WEIRD HUMAN/TURTLE HYBRID VOICE EVER AGAIN.
*straightens tie*
Indeed, the “Dave” that I am referring to is none other than David from the spin-off anime series Cyberpunk Edgerunners. I want to know if my boy is healthy. Is he taking his vitamins. Is he eating a well balanced, nutrient-dense diet. Is he he seeing anyone? How is his mental health? What did his horoscope say this morning? Does he have any big plans for Halloween?
Or is his Halloween costume gonna be a “dead guy” this year because he’s… dead? Is he dead? Did my boy David kick the bucket? Just tell me quick, just rip off my hopes quick like a band-aid it will be better for everyone involved that way.
Well I just found out today, my beloved family and friends, that David is indeed dead.
*breaks into a high, keening funeral ululation*
Yeah David bought the ol’ farm I’m sorry to say. He got turned into a freaky super-modded robo weapon by his boss in order to destroy his boss’s enemies and ended up getting the dreaded “cyberpsychosis”. No I’m not making that up, it’s actually a thing. He went off the proverbial deep end and had to be put down in brutal one on one combat by another cybernetic death machine named Adam Smasher.
Pour one out for my boy Dave y’all. Again not Matthews. Never Matthews.
Featured image credit: Studio Trigger
