Stephen Colbert Debuts New Products to Compete With Goop’s Ridiculous Healing Stickers

The healing power of burning money.

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Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle brand, Goop, depending on your level of gullibility, is known for hawking pleny of nonsense or some very valuable personal wellness products. It’s a little-known fact that Stephen Colbert has his own lifestyle brand full of nonsense, Covetton House, which makes it the perfect competitor for Goop.

Recently, Goop irritated NASA with some incredibly overpriced “smart stickers” from a company called Body Vibes, which claimed to use a material from space suits (that isn’t actually used in space suits) for healing vibrations. The company has since apologized for misleading people into believing their stickers had any connection to NASA, but pointedly didn’t apologize for misleading people in general about whether or not stickers can vibrate you to good health.

So, Colbert broke down the whole situation on The Late Show before getting into a brand new ad for Covetton House and some healing tape from the town of Duct. That will take care of all that ails you when used in combination with other products in Covetton’s new Glu-u line that are definitely not just batteries, post-it notes, and other everyday objects marketed to trick people into spending too much money on placebos.

(image: screengrab)

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Dan Van Winkle
Dan Van Winkle (he) is an editor and manager who has been working in digital media since 2013, first at now-defunct <em>Geekosystem</em> (RIP), and then at <em>The Mary Sue</em> starting in 2014, specializing in gaming, science, and technology. Outside of his professional experience, he has been active in video game modding and development as a hobby for many years. He lives in North Carolina with Lisa Brown (his wife) and Liz Lemon (their dog), both of whom are the best, and you will regret challenging him at <em>Smash Bros.</em>