evil little bald child caillou whines

Our Long National Nightmare Is Over: Caillou Has Been Canceled at PBS

2021 is looking better already

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At last, parents across the nation can breathe easier, knowing the chances they will have to hear the whiny, entitled voice of a tiny bald antichrist coming from a television are much lower now. Yes, my friends, it’s true: Caillou, the bane of every parent’s existence, has been canceled by PBS.

Now, for those of you who aren’t parents or are lucky enough to have never seen or heard of this Canadian animated import: congrats. Count yourself lucky. Caillou, the four-year-old protagonist of the show is, to put it mildly, the most annoying, whiny, useless little ingrate that’s ever graced a television screen. He’s everything you don’t want your child to be: spoiled, completely unable to do anything, and just plain bratty.

Think of it this way, if Bean Dad had said “well, my child is Caillou” the response would have been “oh you were too nice.” As another meme put it:

 

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A post shared by Lisa (@reppenhagenl)

Another, now-viral quote by Arian Foster explained it well: “Caillou can’t grow hair, not because he has cancer or progeria, but because he sucks, and even his own body recognizes that he does not deserve hair or food or love.”

Note that the show stopped production in 2010, but the reruns have continued to haunt us both on PBS and YouTube for kids like some tiny revenant that wants a blankie. So, when the news broke that PBS would no longer rerun episodes of Caillou, parents rejoiced.

Honestly, I’ve never seen quite so much joy that a show is going off the air but I completely understand it. Now just make sure Caillou is blocked on any and all devices, so that you can be assured that this evil little cue ball with never hurt you or your family again.

And to Caillou himself, as a mom, I say: good riddance, you little shit.

(via: TVLine, image: PBS)

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Author
Jessica Mason
Jessica Mason (she/her) is a writer based in Portland, Oregon with a focus on fandom, queer representation, and amazing women in film and television. She's a trained lawyer and opera singer as well as a mom and author.