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A Bunch of Dumbos Called 911 Because Their Cable Went Out Right Before Breaking Bad

Your Stupid Minds! Stupid! Stupid!

Gather round, dear readers, for story time. Your tale today is about the hamlet of Fairfield, Connecticut. A quiet town where crime is low (not a single murder since 2008) and crops are bountiful (well, no crops, but with an average household income of just under $100k most people can afford to buy the food they need), its citizens nevertheless found their peaceful lives rocked yesterday when they were hit by a calamity of epic proportions. What could they do? Who could they turn to? How would they survive?

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Or, in plainer terms: There was a cable outage an hour before Breaking Bad was set to air, and a ton of people called 911 to complain about it. Let’s break out the “I’m judging yougifs, because this is messed up.

We don’t know exactly how many people called 911 to complain about their cable being out, but it was enough for the Fairfield Police Department to post the following message to their Facebook page:

NOTICE: We are receiving numerous 911 calls regarding the Cablevison outage. This is neither an emergency or a police related concern. Please direct your inquiries to Cablevision.

911 should only be called for Life Threatening Emergencies ONLY.

Shortly after 11p.m. Cablevision released a statement about there being a power outage in a nearby facility, but by then it was too late: Breaking Bad was already over!

Let’s have a moment of silence for these poor, brave soldiers.

Seriously, though. The fact that these people needed to be told that you only call 911 when something life-threatening is going on is completely ridiculous. And what did they think the police were going to be able to do about it, anyway? March to the Cablevision offices in full riot-gear and demand cable be restored? I can understand (if not condone) if it’s just one or two people doing it; there are always going to be a few. But that the police department felt the need to come out and say “Bad citizens, stop that!”?

Sometimes I hate humanity.

(via: Death and Taxes, Fairfield stats from

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