Adults. Are you okay? Because I’m not okay. First off, because Bluey’s moving away. Secondly, because I’m having an emotional breakdown about U.S. housing costs.
Sorry, let me back up. The latest Bluey episode, “Ghostbasket,” ends on a shocking cliffhanger. After Bandit pretends to be a realtor named Hugo trying to sell the Grannies’ house to Chilli, the Grannies (played by Bluey and Bingo in costume, of course) help Hugo scare her away with a haunted wheelbarrow. (It, uh, all makes sense in context.) As the camera pans away from the house in the final shot, though, we see an actual For Sale sign in the Heelers’ front yard.
NO. BAD DOGS. You can’t do this to me my kids!
We don’t know what exactly is going to happen to the Heelers, but supposedly we’ll find out this Sunday, when the 28-minute special “The Sign” drops around the world. Are they actually moving away? Where are they going? How will they harass Lucky’s dad and weird out Judo’s mom if they don’t live next door anymore!?
To drive the point home (so to speak), the Heelers’ house has been listed on an actual Australian real estate site, Domain. Listed as a “Quaint, animated family home,” the house features “mid-century design aesthetics offset by whimsical touches” and “lovely period floorboards and mysterious hallways that don’t logically seem to join spaces together but always feel cohesive and purposeful.”
The listing also boasts that the house is “perfect for endless play and games with the family.” THEN WHY AREN’T THE HEELERS STAYING THERE.
A nice, final touch is the real estate agent: Bucky Dunston, Bandit’s old childhood nemesis. You’ll recall from the episode “Dragon” that Bucky shut down Bandit’s love of art by hating on his drawings of cars. And now he’s selling their house! What a twist of fate.
But for this hapless Angeleno, the fact that the Heelers are moving isn’t even the worst part. As we know, their house has 3 bedrooms, a study, and a huge yard, and according to 9News’ calculations, the median Brisbane home goes for about $535,000 U.S.D. That’s less than the crappiest, tiniest, most rundown condo you’ll find in major U.S. cities. The square footage is a little small if I did the conversion right, but they’re dogs, so. (Update: turns out I did not, in fact, do the conversion right. Now I’m even sadder.)
Maybe I should put in a bid on the Heelers’ house? It has heritage windows, after all! While I figure out how to make that happen, “The Sign” airs on April 14 on Disney+.
(featured image: Disney+)
