House of the Dragon just didn’t quite scratch the itch, huh?
It’s okay. You’re safe here. No one is gonna judge you. It’s just you and me. I know your type. You started watching anime young. Real young. About the same age you started having urges. You know what kind of urges I mean. You don’t know what made you the way you are. Maybe it was something about the sheer power of Shenron from Dragon Ball Z that made you into beings of the reptilian persuasion. But you know that a relationship with a dragon would be doomed from the start. They’d totally eat you.
Lucky for you, anime gave you a solution: the dragon girl.
All your problems are solved! Now you can fall in love with a woman who possesses the cold reptilian beauty of her draconic relatives. But she’s also way less likely to eat you. Read that again. I said less likely. She definitely could still do it.
So as a dragon girl dating guru, I’ve decided to come up with a list of dragon girls who are least to most likely to eat you. That way you’ll know what kind of red flags to look out for. So you don’t get barbecued.
10. Grea – Manaria Friends
Grea is a lover, not a fighter. That’s great news for you! She was somewhat of a black sheep in her relationships with her dragon relatives, so she tried to find a little love and comfort with humans. And you’re just the person to give it to her, aren’t you? She enrolled in Mysteria’s Academy of Magic in order to get closer to humans, and it was a success! She struck up a friendship with a human girl named Anne, though it quickly turned into romantic love. You’re gonna have to get through Anne to get to Grea. Maybe introduce Anne to some of the dragon girls lower down on this list? That’ll get her out of the way. Permanently.
9. Rose – Dragon Crisis
Rose is a young dragon, meaning that readers over 18 should MOVE ON OR I’M CALLING THE COPS. In the world of Dragon Crisis, Rose’s immaturity means that she is unable to change into a full draconic form. This is both good and bad news for you. The good news is, she won’t be able to kill you. The bad news is, you don’t get to see her dragon side for a while. However, she is rather aggressive towards everyone but the main character. Surprise, surprise. It’s just something about his Main Character Energy. That, and he found her when she was born.
8. Tio Klarus – Arifureta: From Commonplace to World’s Strongest
Tio is an exiled princess of the Dragonmen. She is also a total pervert. She got this way after being defeated in combat by the protagonist of the series and discovering that she really likes pain. This girl has raging power bottom energy. She is a charismatic leader when princess duty calls, but off the clock, she enjoys being a freak. I’m sure that many of us can relate. Tio is hopelessly devoted to Hajime, the protagonist, and will protect him fiercely. If you are not the object of her desire, she will eat you. If you are, she will eat you, but in a different kind of way.
7. Mink – Dragon Half
Mink is half dragon. This gives her a lot of seriously awesome powers. She’s incredibly strong, she can move extremely quickly, and she’s nearly impervious to harm. She’s also totally in love with the main character. I’m seeing a pattern here. This man’s name is Dick Saucer, and yes, I am currently resisting the urge to make a slew of low-brow jokes in regards to that. Mink is powerful enough that she could totally eat you alive if she wanted to, and she probably would if you got in between her and Dick. What straight girl wouldn’t?
6. Quetzalcoatl / Lucoa – Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid
Lucoa is somewhat neutral. On one hand, she seems happy to simply observe human beings and live amongst them in peace. On the other hand, she was formerly the Aztec dragon goddess Quetzalcoatl, who may or may not have been a big fan of human sacrifice. Depends on which legend you listen to. Normally, Lucoa’s happy just to prance around in her underwear, but it’s quite possible she could revert to her goddess mindset and demand your death.
Related: Best Anime Soundtracks, Ranked on We Got This Covered
5. Nina Drango – Rage of Bahamut
Nina is half dragon, so she has superhuman strength. She can sometimes change into a full dragon when in the presence of a handsome man. Better go get your eyebrows done, boys. She is also a bounty hunter who captures criminals to make a living. Needless to say, Nina would be totally unopposed to making a quick buck off of you, if you decide to shoot your shot at the dragon minors on this list. She won’t eat you herself, she’ll leave that to the legal system.
4. Eco – Dragonar Academy
Eco is the Imperial Princess of the Sacred Dragon Imperial Family of Avalon. Her full name is Eco Aurora-Christa Pendragon Lena Anherusu-Ilya Roransu Liliane-Muriel-Octavia-Robertine de la Rosa Resuperansu van de Compostela Avalon. Just “Eco” is fine, though.
Eco is another half human, half dragon. She was designed that way so that she could breed with the protagonist in order to save dragons from extinction. Ew. However, she treats the protagonist, Ash, as if he were a common peasant, even if she does harbor secret feelings for him. The dragons of this universe are willing to do anything to preserve the royal bloodline. They’d have no qualms about eating you if it meant they could protect themselves.
3. Kuro – Restaurant to Another World
Kuro is one of the six elder dragons of the underworld. Yikes. She possesses the power of death, and her mere aura is enough to kill a person if they spend time around her. In order to not unintentionally murder people, Kuro fled to the moon of her world so she could live in solitude. If you get close to this girl, she will eat you. Not literally, but in a metaphorical way. Does not death consume us all in the end?
2. Zefiris – Scrapped Princess
Zefiris is a dragon-like being that was constructed 5,000 years ago in order to battle against a malevolent alien race that sought to harm humanity. Humanity also constructed other super-powered entities, called Peacemakers, in order to protect themselves from the threat. The problem is, the Peacemakers got a little too good at protecting people, and they ended up trapped humanity in an artificial environment similar to Middle Ages society. However, a human called the Providence Breaker is born who has the power to defeat the Peacemakers. Zefiris’ sole purpose is to protect the Providence Breaker, even it means killing thousands to do so. She wouldn’t eat you, but she would let the worms do it if it served her interests.
1. Milim Nava – That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime
Milim Nava is the True Demon King, also known as “The Destroyer.” She is one of the most powerful entities in the world, and she is also the only dragon/human hybrid in existence. Her father was not just a dragon, but basically a dragon god: The World Creator Veldanava, the Dragon King of the Stars. After the death of her father and mother, Nina was left orphaned, with nothing to remember them by but a little pet dragon that was her father’s last gift to her. One day, human beings killed this little dragon, causing her to go on a rampage and kill EVERYONE. Entire towns, slaughtered. This girl DOES NOT LIKE humanity and would TOTALLY EAT YOU if given the chance. Sorry, kid. You’re just not her type. You’re only human, after all.
(Featured Image: Cygames Pictures)
