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Dried Giant Beetles Wearing Hand-Made Jurassic Park Costumes are Available on Etsy

hold on to your butts

Ladies and gentlemen, I am so happy the Internet exists so that today I can show you that, should you so desire, you can buy a giant preserved beetle dressed in the tiny, hand-made replica clothes of a character from Jurassic Park. With matching accessories. Above, an Odontolabis femoralis (commonly known as the stag beetle) as paleobotanist Ellie Sattler. With tiny beetle wig and Triceratops poop-smeared plastic gloves.

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The likeness is uncanny!

Next, everyone’s favorite games warden Robert Muldoon is personified by this five-horned rhinoceros beetle (Eupatorus gracilicornis), with gun, and of course, hat.

They spared no expense to get this Centaurus beetle (Augosoma centaurus) to look like John Hammond, complete with hat and what we’re really really hoping is an amber topped cane with a tiny, tiny gnat trapped inside it. Like, really hoping. Beyond all reasonable expectations.

And finally Ian Malcom, in what would surely provoke flashbacks to The Fly in Jeff Goldblum, is portrayed by this Atlas beetle (Chalcosoma caucasus).

Welcome to the internet. Welcome to Etsy.

Welcome to Jurassic Park.

If you’d like to buy any of these here, be warned that they are unique items, so jump on it, and be prepared to shell out more than $100, and yeah, I’d get the expensive shipping option for your dried bugs in tiny costumes. But is that so large a price to pay to make just the right person’s holiday wishes come true?

(Erin Pearce’s Shop via amazing tipster Colleen.)

Have a tip we should know? [email protected]

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Susana Polo thought she'd get her Creative Writing degree from Oberlin, work a crap job, and fake it until she made it into comics. Instead she stumbled into a great job: founding and running this very website (she's Editor at Large now, very fancy). She's spoken at events like Geek Girl Con, New York Comic Con, and Comic Book City Con, wants to get a Batwoman tattoo and write a graphic novel, and one of her canine teeth is in backwards.