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These Disney Princesses Don’t Mess Around

i swear by my pretty floral bonnet i will end you

These princesses are not wishing upon a star. They’re bored to death of sitting around and waiting for princes, dreams, and all that other fairy tale stuff to happen. Who’s the fairest one of all? Justice.

Belle: Go ahead — call her weird. What a puzzle to the rest of us is how she let you get away without a kick to the face!

Ariel: She’s got whoozits and whatzits aplenty — and they’re all gonna rip you to shreds! (Also: She knows exactly where bin Laden is …)

Jasmine: You’re in for a whole new world — of pain!

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon? It’s because he thought he could beat Pocahontas in a fight. And then she painted with all the colors of his blood!

Tiana: She’s climbed a mountain and crossed a river, and she’s almost ready to take you out!

Cinderella: A dream is a wish her boot makes!

Aurora: She showed you mercy — once upon a dream!

(Joshwmc’s DeviantArt.)

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