The internet has officially been deemed an unsafe place, at least for us Marvel fans. Avengers: Endgame spoilers are everywhere, even on Pornhub. Imagine, if you will, hunkering down, getting ready to watch some porn, and BAM! Thanos is snapping away and your favorite heroes are onscreen. Do you shut it off to save yourself from spoilers, or do you keep watching to see if the Avengers are dtf? The choice is yours!
I’m going to be completely honest: I’m writing this article in the dark, because there is no way in hell I’m typing in “Avengers: Endgame spoilers” into the internet right now. I’m not a martyr—sorry, folks—so this is all based on the few tweets I’ve seen and the general warnings going out from fan accounts.
Many of us Marvel fans take this stuff seriously. We want to experience the magic of the film without knowing too much about what’s happening beforehand. The problem is that others on the internet don’t care about our feelings—a real Thanos move on their part, if I’m being honest.
So, where can you find these spoilers? I don’t know (but Reddit and Twitter would probably be a start)! Again, I’m not googling this because I have a week and I would like to remain as spoiler free as physically possible. Where can we go on the internet that isn’t going to be a risk? Who knows? Not even our porn sites are safe.
THE ENDGAME LEAKS ARE ON PORNHUB DONT ASK HOW I KNOW THO OK
— ｊａｖｉｅｒ (@MidtownThwip) April 16, 2019
Then again, nowhere is safe. Last year, I had a man start DMing me about something unrelated, and then he proceeded to spoil the entire plot of Infinity War for me for absolutely no reason. Trust no one and tread lightly.
And also, don’t go searching for it and then get mad when you get spoiled for the movie.
Why would you go and look for the spoilers then get mad when something gets spoiled pic.twitter.com/pAd6Mho4G3
— satan // spoiler free (@MARVELOLOGY) April 16, 2019
My advice? Shut off your DMs, don’t look at any accounts you don’t already follow, and just internet safely, kids. We’re in the endgame now. (Get it? Do you get it?)
(image: Mark Ruffalo’s Twitter/Photoshop)
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