Oh My Dear Lord, There’s a Brand New Don Hertzfeldt Cartoon Online!

Everyone who has ever drank coffee despite horrible allergies, joyously shouted about anal bleeding, or complained about a spoon that is slightly too large, get excited. Wisdom Teeth, the newest cartoon from Don Hertzfeldt, the brilliant animator behind such cult classics as Rejected and Billy's Balloon, has suddenly appeared in all of it's hilariously disturbing glory online!

The Assassination of Yogi Bear by the Coward Boo-Boo

Ok, this is amazing. Some genius or geniuses (probably including CGI artist Edmund Earle who uploaded the video) have made an "alternate ending" to the upcoming Yogi Bear that lovingly recreates the titular assassination scene from the criminally under-seen masterpiece The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford and it's, well, hilarious. Seriously, watch this. And then go watch The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, preferably on Blu Ray. And then, if you really feel like it, I guess you can go see Yogi Bear.

Warner Bros. Confirms Joss Whedon-less Buffy Movie Because They’re Apparently Really Stupid (Update)

Last year, rumors began surfacing that Warner Bros. was planning on rebooting Buffy the Vampire Slayer with a new movie without the participation of the character's creator Joss Whedon. The idea seemed so stupid that no one would possibly do it and, after, a few quiet months, that seemed to be the case. Today, however, they confirmed that this unholy abomination was actually happening. Lets all spend a few paragraphs thinking about the many reasons why this is the dumbest decision ever.

Man Forced to Eat Own Beard

Some headlines just insist on being clicked. Kentucky NBC affiliate KSDK’s “Man says former friends cut off his beard and forced him to eat it” is just one of those headlines. It tells the harrowing story about a fight between four men over a lawnmower that almost ended in death but, fortunately, only ended in the loss and ingestion of a beard. >>>Video report at Mediaite.

Resting Your Laptop On Your Laps Can Cause ‘Toasted Skin Syndrome’

If your laptop is on your lap right now, you might want to shuffle it to the side: In addition to the oft-rumored sperm count reduction, your MacBook Pro or whatever could also be afflicting you with the strangely delicious sounding “Toasted Skin Syndrome.” So, unless you want to end up childless with permanently blotchy legs, you might want to go to the trouble of putting the computer on the desk for once. The findings come from a report by Swiss researchers in the medical journal Pediatrics. They cite a number of instances where users found “sponge-like patterns” on their thighs. Sexy. >>>Full article at Mediaite.

The Moon is Shrinking! The Moon is Shrinking!

Well, it's finally happening: the moon is shrinking. New images from NASA's Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter have shown an increasing amount of lobate scarps, raised features that appear along thrust faults, on the moon's surface. Scientist's are blaming contraction for the phenomenon. Yes, the moon is suffering from shrinkage.

Futurama Writer Created And Proved A Brand New Math Theorem Just For Last Night’s Episode

We all knew the writing staff of Futurama was brainy but this is something else. To work out the ridiculous brain switching plot line from last night's hilarious episode, writer Ken Keeler (who also just happens to have a PhD in mathematics) ended up writing and proving an entirely new theorem. This is probably the most impressive bit of side work from a TV writer since a writer of Desperate Housewives discovered a new species or the staff of Full House developed a vaccine for a specific strain of syphilis.

The Taiwanese CGI American Scandal Recap You’ve Been Waiting For: Rod Blagojevich

We said that we were going to stop posting every single thing Taiwan’s Next Media Animation does (they post new stuff every day and, y’know, diminishing returns and all), but this is pretty great. And it is a Friday. So, they’ve tackled the Rod Blagojevich story and, as always, we can learn new things about America when viewed through the eyes of outsiders. This time we learned that Blago’s visage can shatter mirrors, when he runs he sounds like Fred Flintstone, and, most importantly, that the state of Illinois is apparently run out of a series of nondescript tract houses. Fascinating.

Best Viral Marketing for a Movie I Have No Desire to See Ever: The Last Exorcist Chatroulette Prank

Here's the thing about viral marketing; sure it raises awareness but, for some reason, the good examples always make me respect the marketing team more than the product they're shilling. So, while this video of a bunch of horny guys getting the crap scared out of them by a hot girl/CG monster on Chatroulette may be the funniest thing I've seen all week, it's still not gonna get me to see another flick about Satan making young girls' necks move weird.

Google’s CEO Proposes Future Where People Will Have to Change Their Names to Escape Social Media

A few days ago, the Wall Street Journal published an interview with Google's CEO Eric Schmidt. It delved into a number of things like the Verizon deal and Schmidt's excitement for Minority Report-style "targeted advertisement," but the folks at the Telegraph noticed a truly interesting quote nestled unto the discussion. Schmidt apparently believes that, as time goes on and we reach a point where every single person has embarrassing information and pictures from their adolescence posted on social media sites online, it will become commonplace for people to automatically change their name once they reach adulthood.