Lestat’s Narration Is What Having an ADHD Brain Feels Is Like

Being a woman with ADHD means I spent most my life undiagnosed and I still have confirmations only from a friend who has it and a doctor who gave me a sheet to fill out who said “oh yikes yeah” when I finished it. I guess it is confirmed. Anyway, having ADHD as a woman feels like Lestat’s narration in The Vampire Lestat. Let me explain.

Often, my ADHD helps me multi-task. I know, so unfair to the men who get diagnosed more often than women do that they cannot use their ADHD for good. But alas. My ADHD helps me jump from task to task and get things done. It also means that trying to explain my train of thought to literally anyone is near impossible. Don’t ask me how I got to point C because it took a detour at point Z and had to work backwards.

So as I was watching the narration switch from Louis de Pointe du Lac’s (Jacob Anderson) POV in seasons 1 and 2 of Interview with the Vampire to Lestat de Lioncourt’s (Sam Reid) in The Vampire Lestat, I realized that that way of thinking can be overwhelming to people. Yes, Louis’ was calming and a soothing narration but Lestat’s feels like how my brain functions on the daily. Two sides of a similar coin, a ying and yang, two perfect narrators, etc etc.

Another part of ADHD in women? Hyperfixations. And if anyone knows what a hyperfixation is (outside of me), it is Lestat. Maybe he’s just a girly pop with ADHD trying to get his truth out there. We have to kind of respect it.

It feels nice to have my brain on display

When I first watched my screeners for The Vampire Lestat, I didn’t think anything of Lestat’s narration. As comments from fans began to role in, I realized that maybe I just instantly felt at home in how Lestat’s mind works. He is just trying to get his story out and it might be jumbled and all over but that’s just how he thinks.

Many online pointed out that they had to pay more attention because he would go off on side stories while talking. Listen, I love a side quest conversation so I get him. But it was through those comments that I realized finally that maybe my issue when I am talking with some people stems from the way my brain works.

Let me put it to you this way: I went to the Lestat concert on Tuesday and then I had to come home and take care of my cat and my cat is really cute he’s named after a character from Parks and Recreation. Do you know who Adam Scott is? Anyway, the concert was really fun because Sam Reid was singing again. Sam Reid was in Girl From the North Country which features my favorite Bob Dylan song. OMG remember when Bob Dylan ruined Llewyn Davis’ chance at fame?! So back to Lestat: Sam Reid was so good!

That was a lot right? That is how my brain works every second of the day. Just non-stop firing on all cylinders, jumping around so I don’t forget what I want to say but then having to jump back to my original point. So, kind of like Lestat. Which was nice to see!

Sometimes, you just have to say it all and all at once

Often, your brain cannot stop going a mile a minute. It is often why I just keep talking, a trait I also share with Lestat. When those moments happen, you just have to let it all out and then you can move on. It is how I end up with bursts of complete focus and why I can write things super quickly. Maybe that’s my secret super power.

The reality is that while it isn’t really something anyone should want, it was really nice to kind of find my way of thinking has a place in Lestat’s mind. Look, it isn’t easy trying to keep track of all my thoughts. Sometimes I just hold my phone in my hand and go “what was I doing here?”

But hearing Lestat rationalize things, breakdown his story, and then somehow bring it all back to the “fun” he sings about in his song “Long Face” made me feel seen in a weird way.

(featured image: Sophie Giraud/AMC)

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