Users on Twitter have been sharing amazing stories of their historical “bad bitches” after one user challenged Twitter: “Name a bitch badder than Taylor Swift.”
Now, this is not to hate on anyone who’s a Taylor Swift fan. Though she is certainly problematic, and so you’re welcome to call her out, any woman who donates to Kesha during her case against Dr. Luke, and who takes her groper to court and rips into his victim-blaming lawyer, has plenty enough badass in her. I’m not here to lean into any nonsense that pits women against each other in a contest for Coolest Cool Girl. (That’s why I left out the other modern, living celebrities that users suggested.)
But I am 100% here for streams of stories about female pirates, heroes, and Nazi-slayers. Bring that on, please!
Arsinoe, younger sister of Cleopatra, took control of her brother’s armies when Caesar captured him and declared herself Queen of Egypt. She won two battles against the Roman army at Alexandria, at one point forcing Caesar to strip and swim for his life. She was eleven years old. https://t.co/5k0qX1YL22
— Cammie Campbell (@camcamdamn) December 2, 2017
Jeanne de Clisson, murderous French aristocrat-turned-pirate who named her ship My Revenge after the French king executed her husband. She spent the next decade killing all the French crews she encountered, sparing only 1 sailor to relay her message of vengeance ☠️⚓️⚔️ https://t.co/7JGPo3qNjj
— Greg Jenner (@greg_jenner) December 1, 2017
The Soviet 588th Night Bombers aka Night Witches: all women regiment who made nazis scream in terror before blowing them up. These women had a choice of more bombs to kill nazis with or parachutes: they chose bombs. They have a metal song in their honor: https://t.co/EJCzRCbwAr https://t.co/gPDuFu2AhM
— aj ☭ (@aj_the_seeker) December 3, 2017
(These next two are about the same woman, but I liked both summaries.)
zheng shi was a sex worker in Canton who was captured & wedded to a pirate lord and so quickly proved her ability to command that she took over and at one point commanded 300+ ships with 40,000 men and was so fearsome that she forced china and britain to let her peacefully retire https://t.co/uQXD8JsL1k
— Ben Shapiro Is 5’3 1/2 (@DOGGEAUX) December 2, 2017
Ching Shih was a pirate queen in the late 1700s who commanded a fleet of 40,000 dangerous badasses against the British, Portuguese and Qing Dynasty. She is acknowledged as the most successful pirate of all time. https://t.co/bMJW0dKaGw
— adam koebel (@skinnyghost) December 2, 2017
Lyudmila Pavlichenko. Russian sniper who killed over 300 Nazis including dozens of officers. When on a tour of the US, she was asked how many men she had killed, and responded, “No men, just fascists.” Woody Guthrie wrote a song about her. https://t.co/koJUbG2r0b
— Buzzfeed Guy Debord (@BuzzfeedGDebord) December 2, 2017
Empress Taytu of Ethiopia (1851-1918) was a diplomat and strategist crucial to Ethiopia’s victory over the Italian army at Adwa in 1896. She founded Addis Ababa, which is still Ethiopia’s capital. She was married to Emperor Menelik II & took over his duties after his stroke. https://t.co/vRICii9XyI
— Tananarive Due (@TananariveDue) December 2, 2017
Carlota, a slave woman, took up the machete in 1843 to lead a slave uprising at the Triumvirato sugar mill in Matanzas Province and was killed. She was one of the 3 leaders of the rebellion. Her name was later given to Cuba’s 1980’s operation Black Carlota in Southern Africa. https://t.co/b6i4dg1RT0
— George M Johnson (@IamGMJohnson) December 2, 2017
When Romans flogged and raped Queen Boudicca of the Iceni (and her daughters) after her husband’s death, she raised a revolt that resulted in the sack of modern-day London, Colchester, & St Albans, & slaughtered between 70k-80k Romans in revenge. https://t.co/mHwrDTuFg0
— Kelli Butler (@TheOperaGeek) December 3, 2017
Lucy Parsons was a Black anarchist revolutionary: a formidable speaker, journalist, and tireless labor organizer who fought for women’s rights and co-founded the IWW. The Chicago PD called her “more dangerous than a thousand rioters.” https://t.co/S6pQflrUm8
— Kim Kelly (@GrimKim) December 2, 2017
Susan Hendrickson was a high school dropout who became a self taught paleontologist and archeologist on expeditions. She discovered the largest T. rex specimen of all time. Now she’s a dive archeologist in Egypt and Honduras. Like an actual Indiana Jones who is good at her job. https://t.co/6k7GwdSD7U
— SUE, “The Ghost of T. rex-mas Past” (@SUEtheTrex) December 2, 2017
Khutulun was the great-great-granddaughter of Genghis Khan. She was a strong fighter and insisted that any man who wished to marry her must defeat her in wrestling, but any man who she beat would have to give her a horse. She wound up with 10,000 horses. https://t.co/TQTrKPN9EA
— Samantha Mash (@anamericanghost) December 2, 2017
Hedy Lamarr. Austrian-Jewish star of prewar nudie pix. Left her abusive, Hitler-loving arms-dealer hubby in ‘30s, became Hollywood star, invented wifi and the Soda Stream in her spare time. https://t.co/QAENTxsaGE
— Alex de Campi (@alexdecampi) December 2, 2017
Phulan Devi was a Dalit (low caste) woman born to a poor rural family in India and was later called a “feminist Robin Hood” for leading low-caste rebellions and robbing rich communities to redistribute to poor Indian communities. https://t.co/8YYYWGcYrv
— Vriddhi / ವೃದ್ಧಿ (@scaryammu) December 3, 2017
Julie d’Aubigny was a French opera singer/swordswoman in the 1600s who killed over ten men in duels over other women and once took holy vows so she could break into a nunnery, sleep with a blonde nun, then burned the church down and escaped with herhttps://t.co/SaGN3FuELu
— ⚔ Julie d’Atmabigny (@Swordwields) December 2, 2017
In sum, I leave you with this list to present to any devil’s advocate who tells you that fiction which shows women as generals, duelists, athletes, or scientists is “just not realistic.” Prove them wrong with these stories from, you know, actual reality.
And of course, these are only some of the stories that were shared. Tell me some of your favorite historical ladies!
(Featured image via Wikimedia Commons/public domain)
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