No, “Deez Nuts” Is Not a Real Presidential Candidate—Despite Impressive Polling

I wonder when Dat Ass will join the ticket?

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Everyone’s been enjoying the fact that a candidate by the name of Deez Nuts has jumped into the presidential race (well, everyone except the candidates he’s mocking, probably), but rest assured that Mr. Nuts is no more a real presidential candidate than Donald Trum—wait. Wait, our fact checkers are telling me Donald Trump is running for president? What the Hell is happening out there?

Anyway, “Deez Nuts” is, unsurprisingly, a 15-year-old boy who’s making a mockery of the presidential race with a page straight out of the student council election playbook. I assume Harry Weiner and John Boehner will also be in the race soon—what? Oh, I’m now being told that John Boehner is also a real politician, and that’s not how his name is pronounced. My mistake.

Well, Brady “Deez Nuts” Olson told Rolling Stone that the truly ridiculous thing is that he was able to get acknowledged in the race at all:

The fact that if I can fill out a form so vague that it doesn’t include your age, or the fact that all get accepted even if they’re only partially filled, anyone can run.

But despite Olson/Nuts 2016‘s polling numbers from Public Policy Polling, “Finally another declared independent candidate, Deez Nuts, polls at 9% in North Carolina to go along with his 8% in Minnesota and 7% in Iowa in our recent polling,” he’s only a presidential candidate in the very loosest sense, though it’s not a bad poll showing for someone who doesn’t really exist. Being 15, he’s ineligible to actually win—he’s mostly succeeded in making a bunch of news outlets say ridiculous things and probably make the candidates people are less willing to vote for than “Deez Nuts” feel terrible about themselves.

(via Slate, image via John on Flickr)

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Dan Van Winkle
Dan Van Winkle (he) is an editor and manager who has been working in digital media since 2013, first at now-defunct Geekosystem (RIP), and then at The Mary Sue starting in 2014, specializing in gaming, science, and technology. Outside of his professional experience, he has been active in video game modding and development as a hobby for many years. He lives in North Carolina with Lisa Brown (his wife) and Liz Lemon (their dog), both of whom are the best, and you will regret challenging him at Smash Bros.