Two weeks ago, the first official teaser for Pixar’s Brave premiered with the release of Cars 2, giving Cars 2 a reason to exist. At the time I was too busy performing in a show, reviewing shows, holding down a job and keeping my cat happy to be properly excited. This week, though, I have had enough of a break to appreciate how excited I am.
And I am excited. Stupidly excited. Obnoxiously excited. I am more excited for this movie than I am for all the Christmasses to come. I am more excited for this movie than I am for my brother’s upcoming wedding (sorry, Josh). I am more excited for this movie than I am for Captain America, the drunken laugh-fest that will be Breaking Dawn, and any and all movies featuring Alan Rickman.
I am in fact so excited that it is actually making me angry. Why do I have to wait another year for this movie? I want it now. I will Veruca Salt all over this place until I get my very own Brave! (kicks things)
Here are twenty reasons why you should be excited if you are not already:
- It’s the first Pixar movie with a female protagonist.
- It was written by two women. Progress (for Pixar, anyway)! Keep on swimming, fellow ladies in the arts. Keep on swimming. Especially Brenda Chapman, who, despite co-creating the whole story of Brave and receiving a co-director’s credit, was fired halfway through production for nonelucidated “creative differences.”
- The trailer alone is better than all of Cars 2.
- The heroine, Princess Merida (Kelly Macdonald), has curly red hair, which will hopefully not be straightened out in a hilarious makeover montage.
- The first time we ever see Merida, a princess in a Disney movie, she’s shooting a freaking bear. Yay!
- Also atypical of Disney princesses: no indication of a romantic interest. Oh, please let this be the first movie princess to not get paired off with anyone in the end. Please, oh, please, oh, please, oh please…
- Cars 2 is crap because Pixar spent all of their creative energy making Brave as brilliant as possible. That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.
- OMG THERE’S A PONY!
- Emma Thompson is voicing a character called Queen Elinor. For those of you unfamiliar with Ms. Thompson, she went to college with Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie, wrote the best version of Sense & Sensibility that ever was and ever will be, and is professionally awesome.
- We also have the voices of Mrs. Weasley, Hagrid, Uncle Monty, Mr. Wick, or as I like to call them: “cast of the best cross-over fanfic ever”.
- This movie is probably going to be everything you’ve ever wanted from a Renaissance Faire without the worst parts of actually going to a Renaissance Faire.
- As of press time, no one at Pixar has confirmed that there will be a dragon…but then, no one at Pixar has not confirmed that there will be a dragon.
- And what are those blue glowing things? Are they fairies? If there are fairies in this movie, then all kinds of crazy magical shit is possible. Like dragons. Dragons, please.
- Look at it. Just…look at it.
- Seriously, the vistas are so gorgeous I can’t stand it. It almost breaks my heart that these magical, misty hills are only computer animated. Why can’t they be real?
- Who does not love a Scottish accent? Silly people, that’s whom. Since Braveheart is now officially unwatchable, we need a new movie that lilts with the guttural music of a Highland burr, and Brave promises to be that very movie.
- In fact, why don’t we just say that Brave is full-stop Braveheart done right? Just look at Lord MacIntosh. That’s all the Braveheart you need.
- Or, we could call it Game of Thrones without the doggy-style.
- By the time Brave opens we will have probably forgotten that Cars 2 ever happened.
- In fact, as of right now let’s never speak of Cars 2 again.
If you are not excited by now, there is nothing I can do for you. Your heart must be made of stone; and your blood, Axe Body Spray. As for me…NOW. GIVE IT TO ME NOW.
Amanda LaPergola tweets @LaPergs.
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