Ranking the X-Men is never easy, but when you look at X-Men ’97, there is some hottie energy to unpack. How else can you confidently exist in a superhero world without rocking cool outfits and knowing you’re a beautiful crew? But it is still hard to rank them.
This ranking (which will obviously not be including Jubilee or the younger characters in X-Men: The Animated Series and its subsequent sequel) is just because I want to talk about my hot team now that they’re back in my life. Can you blame me? The X-Men are beautiful; Charles really nailed down his leading team and said, “Pretty people with hot energy only, please.”
So, who is the hottest of them all? Which of the X-Men gives off that energy? Well, if Charles Xavier were here, this would be entirely different, but let’s get into it.
10. Morph
Here is the thing about Morph: Technically, he can change into any being he sees as beneficial to the fight. SO when shifting, Morph can be any number of hotties all at once. If Morph wanted, he could be this entire list all in one breath, and it’d be undeniable that Morph is, in fact, a hottie with hot energy.
However, whenever Morph is looking a bit like Voldemort, that’s not necessarily the hottest a person has ever looked. Do not get me wrong; Morph’s essence is always hot, and when Morph came into the kitchen as Charles Xavier? Unmatched. But it does put Morph at the end of the ranking.
9. Hank McCoy (Beast)
I am sorry to Hank McCoy but whatever your beautiful face does for your hotness card, the minute you start quoting something, that goes out the window. Beast, if you will, is a character who always shows his intelligence—not in an obnoxious way, but more of in an “I’m just this smart” kind of way. And after a while, it just gets exhausting.
Do I think that Hank is very sweet and endearing? Absolutely. If this were the cutest X-Men character ranking, he’d be at the top. But if you’re talking about hottie energy, Beast just isn’t really my first thought.
8. Jean Grey
Now, it depends which Jean Grey we are talking about. Right now though, she’s a bit more concerned with safety and that’s valid! It’s just not something I would deem the hottest of Jean’s energies. When she is Dark Phoenix? That’s an entirely different story.
7. Scott Summers (Cyclops)
The leader of the team, stick in the mud, and all around protector of the X-Men is Scott Summers. When he does his thing, he is unmatched. But you have to contend with Scott being as annoying as can be in the meantime. He has a lot he has to do and worry about, but after a while, you really just wish he’d embrace that hottie vibe and relax.
But there are moments where you really have to give it to Scott, and I wish we’d see more of them because when it happens? Oh boy.
6. Lucas Bishop
Now we’re getting into “they’re all hotties” territory, starting off with Bishop. I’m putting him here because there hasn’t been enough Bishop yet, and ranking the hottie energy based on what we’ve seen in X-Men ’97 means that this is my “Hottie but I want more of his energy, you hear me?”
The perfect amount of doom and gloom given his back story, Bishop is just there to remind everyone what could happen, and it really is a beautifully hot energy watching him play basketball with the team or try to talk some sense into everyone about Magneto.
5. James “Logan” Howlett (Wolverine)
I am a Logan girl. The only reason he isn’t number one is … well, you’ll see. But I love my short king very dearly, and seeing him all sad about Jean and Scott? It has me losing my mind a little bit. Let them be a throuple; I am literally begging!
Still, Logan has always had an energy about him. You look at him and know that while he may look like a jerk, that is a short little man who will protect you and love you, and there is something about it that just makes Wolverine and his ability to fight just that much hotter.
4. Anna Marie (Rogue)
Out of all the X-Men, I’m probably the most like Rogue, but she does have an energy that people are really drawn to. Plus, whatever is going on between her and Magneto really has me on the edge of my seat wondering what she’s about to do to Gambit!
I wouldn’t necessarily consider that the hottie energy that Rogue possesses, but that is part of her appeal: She can bag a baddie like Magneto, and that’s some power.
3. Ororo Munroe (Storm)
When is Storm not hot? I guess when she’s making snow happen, but even then, hottie. Ororo in X-Men ’97 embodies the hottie energy with her outfits and her vibe, and when the unspeakable happened to her and she became just a regular human (hopefully just for now), her vulnerability oddly made her even more of a hottie.
Storm is not one who will sit around and mope, and she quickly left. I hope to find answers and I hope she will be back soon, but it is just a joy to have Storm back in my life in this series.
2. Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto)
Should I probably unpack how hot Magneto is in every property in therapy? No, it’s fine. It’s Magneto and no one should be ashamed of loving him. There is no reason for X-Men ’97 to make him this buff with such luscious locks of hair, but hey, what do I know? I’m not mad about it either.
You cannot sit there and tell me that Magneto did not have you raising your eyebrows. If you were looking at a chart on hotness, Mags would be off it. Just coming in, demanding the team, sweeping Rogue off her feet? What is he up to and how do we get to be on his to-do list?
1. Remy LeBeau (Gambit)
Is this a hot take? I don’t know but my god am I in love with Gambit. From his crop top that ushered in a war to being shirtless on the basketball court, there is something about him I just cannot get enough of, which isn’t exactly a new thing for me, but that’s okay. Sometimes the old loves are the best loves.
He just has this air about him that makes me want to not listen to a single thing he’s saying and just look at him. Use your magic cards on me while I eat one of your beignets, Remy! It’d be my honor.
(featured image: Disney+)
