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Rumor of the Day: Voldemort to Face Off Against Mary Poppins in Epic Olympic Duel

Well, this one we didn’t expect. In an attempt to show off all the glory that is their Britishness, the open ceremony of the London 2012 Olympics on Friday may just feature a pretty epic battle scene–headlining Harry Potter villain Lord Voldemort and the eponymous hero of Mary Poppins. It’s a pairing we never knew we always wanted? Possibly? We don’t know, we’re still pretty flabbergasted by this.

Granted, so far this can best be described as a rumor (It was first reported by the Sunday Times, but hasn’t been confirmed).

The sequence is said to feature a bevy of the best-loved literary characters in Britain’s history, including representations of Alice from Alice in Wonderland, Captain Hook, and Cruella de Vil. Rumor has it that they will all be chased away by Voldemort–or a 40-foot-tall representation of him–as he ascends out of a bed (?!) in the center of the Olympic stadium.

But it will not be Harry who undoes Voldy this time around; it will be the sassmaster herself, British nanny Mary Poppins. Or, rather, a whole squad of them, according to the paper:

About 30 actors each depicting Mary Poppins, the magical English nanny played by Julie Andrews in the 1964 Disney film, will descend from the roof of the stadium on wires and “float” to the ground with their opened umbrellas. The nightmare will be banished and happiness restored. “It’s a jaw-dropping sequence,” said one source.

It is at times like this that we really wish we had access to the inner workings of the conference room meetings that decided this. How did they decide which character would be pitted against which? What kind of office pools were at work? Will Sherlock Holmes be there? Dorian Gray? Elizabeth Bennet? Will Aslan pounce in at the last minute and bite Voldemort’s head off?

One things for sure: This will certainly be a sight to behold. This is one rumor we most certainly hope is true.

(Yahoo Sports via Motherjones)

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  • Her Majesty’s Wombat

    This could be kind of awesome, but I hope they read the latest League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Alan Moore) to see how Mary Poppins would actually defeat Voldemort (hint: there doesn’t need to be more than one of Her and that parrot-head umbrella will haunt your dreams).

  • Jamie Banister

    David Tennant, as the Doctor.

    The Doctor MUST show up, if they’re doing this, at any rate. 

  • Robert Jazo

    Technically Mary Poppins defeats Harry Potter in that book, but I see your point.

  • Seductive Wilson

    This is one rumor we most certainly hope is true.

  • Anonymous

    And this is one rumor I certainly hope is false.

  • Noni Doll

    An English icon, created by an Australian. Aww yeah.

  • John Wao

    Best loved literary characters or best loved movie adaptations?

  • Her Majesty’s Wombat

    Yes, I was only referring to that incarnation of Mary Poppins, not her nemesis.

  • Invisible_Jester89

    Eff yeah Mary Poppins! :D

    She’s totally a Potter-style witch. Totally. She just prefers nannying muggle kids to wizard kids.

  • Invisible_Jester89

    Doctor Who is a TV show, not a novel/book series. But it would still be amazing to see him pair up with Mary Poppins to have adventures together.