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To Boldly Go

How to Resign Your Town Council Post: Do It in Klingon


If it’s good enough for resigning your command post, it’s good enough for the town council of Indian Trail, North Carolina.

David Waddell, town council member in Indian Trail, North Carolina, resigned this week, after completing only half his four year term. His resignation letter, contrary to pretty much every expectation I would have of how small town governance goes, was tendered in Klingon. Huffpo says that he decided to write it in Klingon as “an inside joke.”

HuffPo also says that Indian Trail mayor, Michael Alvarez, was not amused, so presumably it’s not a joke that he shares. Waddell needs the time off, he says, to prepare a write in campaign for the heavily socially conservative Constitution Party‘s platform against Democratic senator Kay Hagan, so this story took a real unfortunate turn at the end, didn’t it. Lets talk about nerd stuff instead.

Here are some more ways that you can resign in a totally made up alien language:

  • Resign as a Tamarian. Say that relations between you and your employer broke down due to Kadir beneath Mo Moteh, and that the whole enterprise was just Shaka, when the walls fell.
  • Resign as a Hanar. Refer to yourself with the completely non-descriptive third-person pronouns “this one,” because polite discourse starts with the complete refutation of one’s ego.
  • Resign as an Elcor. Announce the emotion you wish the statement to convey at the start of your sentence, and then speak the sentence itself in a monotone.
  • Resign as a Czarnian. Drive your space-motorcycle through the wall, while chomping on a half finished stogie, and tell those bastiches to shove it where the hundred suns don’t shine.

Okay, maybe definitely don’t do that last one.

(via HuffPo.)

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  • Anonymous

    I’m told that he ended the letter with, “SONGS SHALL BE SUNG ABOUT THIS DAY.”

    Also, let’s not forget that General Martok proudly serves on the High (Town) Council in Ulysses, NY.

  • Elizabeth Wells

    Today I have learned the best things I have ever learned about Ulysses, NY and Indian Trail, NC

  • http://dunebat.net/ Jerod C. Batte

    Speaking as one who was once interested in joining the Constitution Party, and on behalf of all conservative geeks: ouch.

    My suggestion: resign in HK-47 speak. “Declarative statement: I have had enough of you meatbags. I hereby tender my resignation.”

  • Samuel

    False Regret: I regret to inform you that I am resigning my position at your-
    Sarcasm: Esteemed place of employment.
    Prideful disdain: So you can have this job and deposit it within your rectum.
    Excited: Observe you at a later date, losers.

  • Anonymous

    “Resignedly; ‘I quit’.”

  • Vian Lawson

    This one sees what you did there. This one approves.

  • Jake Mertz

    Hmm, actually, writing like an Elcor wouldn’t be a bad idea for the internet.

    Sarcasm: That was a wonderful “Inside Joke”. It was most excellent how the only one who got it was probably the one who wrote it.

    Enthusiasm: But, it was pretty cool how he wrote it in Klingon! Qapla’!

  • Mark Brown

    Resign as a Vorta; “Well, time to start packing.”

  • silvergray

    Resign as Hodor. Say “Hodor”.

  • Allen Slea

    If he wanted an inside joke, he should have written I AM GROOT.

  • Anonymous

    As someone who knows a lot more about the Japanese than about Mass Effect, I could have sworn your description of the Hanar was referring to the Japanese. Cf. “watashi”, the original meaning of “otaku”, etc.

  • Amourah

    Resign like an Ent – just sit and sway for a week or two. Boora’room! Don’t be hasty! …in leaving a perfectly well paying job with benefits!

    Or make like a tree and leaf.

    *blush*

    I can do this all day.