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  1. Bulletproof Squirrel Most Hardcore of All Squirrels

    Pics or it didn't happen? Oh, we've got pics.

    We've talked about the hellscape squirrels will launch us into when they disable our electrical grid. Some of you might think, "Well why don't we just shoot all the squirrels?" Nope! You can't, because squirrels don't care about getting shot. At least this one squirrel doesn't. He was hit with a bullet and just keeps right on squirrelin'.

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  2. Pork-Laced Bullets Advertised for Killing Muslims, Sending Them to Hell

    I mean, it seems like you could stop at just shooting someone and call that enough, right? Not when there's money to be made.

    Do you hate Muslims so much that just shooting them is not good enough? Well, good news, you horrible monster -- a small ammunition manufacturer has developed a bullet just for you, you venomously xenophobic nightmare of a human being. Idaho's own Jihawg Ammunition is manufacturing bullets tipped in pink paint that has been infused with pork. The idea is that the presence of pork --  which is haram, or forbidden, under the tenets of Islam -- in the killing round will send Muslim faithful killed with the ammunition "straight to hell."

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  3. ISS Hit by Small “Bullet” So Obviously Chris Hadfield Tweets About It

    We don't have very many details at the moment, but International Space Station Commander and Canadian superhero Chris Hadfield just tweeted this image from space. It shows a small hole in the ISS solar array from what Hadfield called "a small stone." He said he was glad it missed the hull. For the record, we're glad it missed the hull too.

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  4. You (Yes, You!) Can Have Your Ashes Loaded Into Bullets

    There are a number of ways to spread the cremated remaihns of your loved ones, but one company had a vision for a unique way to honor the dearly departed. Holy Smoke, a newly incorporated organization, will take a small amount of the decedent's (SAT word!) ashes and load them inside hollow-point bullets or shotgun shells.

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