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what is this I don't even

Snow White Continues to Sound Like It Will Violently Subvert Our Expectations

It’s hard to play an action hero who is also the most compassionate person on earth. You can’t hate. You epitomize bleeding hearts, so how the f–k do you do an action movie like that?… She has this ethereal, spiritual connection to her people—she really feels things-and so it’s like we don’t really feel empathy… I think that to truly care for something isn’t just putting yourself in that situation aesthetically and then going, “Oh my god, I feel so bad for them.” It’s truly not thinking of yourself at all. The way that you fight is that you must take out anything that hurt your people. I’m fighting evil—I’m fighting the most evil motherf–kers-and it’s fine that they’re being killed. It’s anguish. It’s literally f–king anguish. She takes absolutely no pleasure in ever hurting anything.Kristen Stewart to Box Office Magazine

I admit to being completely baffled by Snow White, no, not the ”Untitled Snow White” with Julia Roberts, Sean Bean, and Nathan Lane; Snow White and the Huntsman with Chris Hemsworth, Charlize Theron, Ian McShane, Nick Frost, and Bob Hoskins. On the one hand it’s got a fabulous cast. On the other, Kristen Stewart has never quite impressed me in her previous work. On the other, it’s got a lady in full plate armor killing motherfuckers.

Snow White and the Huntsman, please come out so that I can form a verdict on you.

(via MTV Movies.)

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  • DH

    I really hope this turns out well! It sounds like a cool concept, and I like the cast. My boss and I were discussing the two Snow White films and she was lamenting that Hollywood was going to make her choose between Hemsworth and Bean. :D

  • Joanna

    I hope it’s nothing like Red Riding Hood >.>

  • Kath

    Kristen Stewart. Plate armour. Sold.

    Me gots a bit of a crush on her, too…

  • TyraWM

    I dunno, I can’t see kristin stewart as a warrior at all. I’m pretty sure that armor weighs more then she does. I mean if she bulks up for the movie then sure, but I doubt it. Plus it hurts my head to picture a warrior slashing throats while pouting, biting their lip and looking aloof. It just doesn’t work. 

  • R.O.U.S.

    Not a big Kristen Stewart fan, but the concept of the film sounds awesome. Plus, CHRIS HEMSWORTH. mrowr.

  • Shae

    I’m sorry but I don’t really understand why anyone would cast Kristin Stewart as warrior princess type who is also compassionate. It just does not work on so many levels for me. Anyway I’m sick of Hollywood has to put a new spin on every fairy tale. If it’s not broke don’t fix it.

  • Anonymous

    First, agree completely on the cast. Stewart has never done anything for me. More importantly I don’t understand why they even called this Snow White. I mean it might be a cool movie but there doesn’t seem to be any reason to tie it to the fairy tale being as it bears no similarity to it.

  • Aminda Pereira

    I have to agree with you on their choice of Stewart, it really makes no sense. The concept of the movie does sound pretty cool though.

  • Mauricio Ariel Portnoy

    for me make sense, this is not a warrior princess, this is a soldier princess, if you people understand what I mean; she fights, she kills, she ride to war, that does not take the fact that after the battle she surely will cry holding her still bloddy soaked sword and feel bad for the realization of who knows how she killed with that blade

  • Frodo Baggins

    A reluctant leader returns from hiding in anonymity in the woods to defend their people from beings of pure evil. Okay, fine, archetypal enough. But carrying a shield emblazoned with a white tree? Come on. She’s goddamn Aragorn.

  • Idran

    Outside of Disney, what other fairy tales has Hollywood put a new spin on in recent years?  Or are you talking about in the entire history of Hollywood?

  • Frodo Baggins

    Snow White is a cornerstone of popular culture, a public domain property, and a hugely successful and nostalgia-tinged Disney film. That translates to obscene amounts of money. Rest assured, if Alice in Wonderland hadn’t devoured the Box Office, we wouldn’t be subjected to this (or those innumerable Peter Pans). It’s no coincidence that both these films shamelessly mush the square pegs of their source material into the round hole of Lord of the Rings imitations, either.

  • Frodo Baggins

    Shrek, Happily Never After, Shrek, The Brothers Grimm, Shrek, Hoodwinked, Shrek, Red Riding Hood, and Shrek.

  • Frodo Baggins

    You can’t picture slashing and pouting? You don’t watch much anime, do you?

  • Idran

    Brothers Grimm was about a _heavily_ fictionalized version of the actual Brothers Grimm getting into a fairy tale-like situation, I don’t think it really qualifies.  It wasn’t based on any actual fairy tale.

    The rest I’ll grant, though.  I didn’t think of the Shrek series (although admittedly the first Shrek was based on a children’s book of the same name, though as far as I know without the satirical aspects), that’s a pretty obvious one I should’ve thought of.  I never even heard of Happily Never After or Hoodwinked though, didn’t know about those.

    Still, even with this, I’d still hardly say it’s a Hollywood epidemic worth commenting on.

  • Shae

    I’m talking about the more recent adaptions like Beastly and Red Riding Hood. Awful. 

  • Bel

    I’m just covering my eyes and peeking out from between them.  I can’t deal – it looks like it’s going to be either awesome or terrible, with no in between at all.

  • Julianne McCartney

    oh man i hope she stutters/blinks profusely/is clumsy. So psyched for another Stewart performance.

  • Anonymous

    You don’t think that that’s real armor, do you? 

  • A Talbot

    I’m so confused about how to feel about this movie! I mean, the story line doesn’t sound bad at all, and I love snow white, but Kristen Stewart? She can hardly even be called an actress, and she’s already been type cast by twilight. I really can’t see her playing anything other than bella. So, great story line, unfortunately bad casting.

  • TyraWM

    no of course not. Its like the scene between andre the giant and the dread pirate roberts, I know the rocks are fake, but I can totally see andre the giant, with his massive size, being able to pick up boulders with one hand and throw them at full speed. It makes sense and doesn’t take you out of the movie. Where as Kristin stewart, with her body type and size, just makes me roll my eyes when I see her in this get up cause its so unbelievable and cheesy. 

  • pwnbroker

    Bet on terrible.  Big CGI scenes with lots of slow motion, simple to the point of sadness plot, random unconnected dialogue, little character development, reliance on our familiarity with the relevant tropes to make us fill in the gaping holes they left out of all the preceding flaws, etc.  I have no faith.  There is too much money involved with blockbuster movies to allow for the conscientious creation of anything great except by accident.  Hoping a big action movie will be great is like hoping you’ll win the lottery…it happens, but it’s not a great investment strategy.  Unless you’re a 13 year old male, in this case.  Sigh

  • Stephen Dudley McPherson

    I’m going to give this one a go. If it stinks, it stinks, but don’t shoot something down before it’s even been released. It could even be really good.

  • Frodo Baggins

    Forgot about that one. What a piece of shit.

  • Frodo Baggins

    It’s more of a burgeoning problem. There’s two Snow White movies on the way, two Hansel and Gretels, a Beauty and the Beast TV show reboot, and five Peter Pans. While the last is not strictly a fairy tale, it is an old, archetypal, public domain children’s fantasy with enormous name recognition, so it fills the same pop culture niche.

    And though Brother’s Grimm is not, in and of itself, a Fairy Tale adaptation, but it does bank on audience’s familiarity with the fairy tales for profit, so in that sense it’s part of the same marketing strategy. Anyway, it flopped, so I guess it doesn’t matter either way.

  • Frodo Baggins

    Wouldn’t 13 year old males think, “That chick from Twilight? Fuck that, I hate Twilight.”

  • Frodo Baggins

    She was actually fine in Runaways and Adventureland. On the other hand, those roles aren’t why she got cast in this.

  • Willow

     Don’t forget Sydney White.

  • Anna B

    I always love the new spin on fairy tales, whether it’s on the big screen or in the pages of a book.  I love the old fairytales, but I like reliving them, too. The different “takes” on it serve that for me.

  • Anna B

    Ah, well, if you put it it that way.

  • Anonymous

    Well, Thor’s in it so maybe it balances out?

  • Anonymous

    The biggest issue I have is that we’re expected to believe that Kristen Stewart is “fairer” than Charlize Theron.  I get that beauty is subjective, but COME ON.