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Forsooth!

If William Shakespeare Wrote Terminator 2

by Jamie Frevele | 3:29 pm, April 5th

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A (brilliant) independent theater company based out of Nashville, Tennessee had the idea to translate the entire script of Terminator 2: Judgement Day into Elizabethan English. It seems to have been a painstaking process, too! Husky Jackal Theater writes on their Kickstarter page:

Each line and phrase is taken directly from folios printed by or before 1685, and many extended sections of dialogue are composed of individual lines from separate works. Only proper nouns and pronouns were subject to change, as dictated by the plot.

They hope to raise $3,000 so they can put their completed script onstage.

On choosing Terminator 2 as the target of their efforts:

[Y]ou’d be amazed by how perfectly the themes so pervasive in Shakespeare’s plays lend themselves to the story of the Terminator: horrific prophecies, charges of madness, the terror of an implacable enemy, the fierceness of a mother’s love for her son. While it’s loaded with outrageous action sequences, one-liners and comic moments (which we’ve worked hard to honor), Terminator 2 is a theme-driven film that invests heavily in its main characters. In our reworking, we were continually struck by extended passages from Shakespeare that seemed as though they could have been written specifically with these late 20th century characters in mind.

But how badly would you want to see someone dressed like the Terminator saying something like “There are a sort of men whose visages do cream and mantle like a standing pond”? See a full page of dialogue after the jump.

First, consider this image, which may or may not be from the correct scene:

And now, the script:

More pages are expected to be released. Watch this page for updates!

Special thanks to Max Santoro for the top pic!

Irresistable Update: Terminator the 2nd, now with 100% more recorded dialogue.

Terminator the 2nd by Solo Lirios Galura

(Husky Jackal Theater’s Kickstarter Page via Matter Anti-Matter)

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  • Anonymous

    I want this to happen in the worst/best way.

  • http://profiles.google.com/quieteyes Chris Talbot

    Actually, the written scene is with the Terminator still on the motorcycle, but John has just gotten off of it and is trying to get a grip with what’s happening. A little bit after this, John uses a phone booth to call his foster parents.

    The pictured scene is when the three of them (we are seeing John and the Terminator from Sarah’s point-of-view) are down in Mexico. She comes to the decision that the Terminator was the best protection John could have and decides to kill Dyson.

    You know … maybe I have watched this too many times. :-)

  • http://twitter.com/Terminator2nd Terminator the 2nd

    Wow. Thanks for the write-up! We’re just kicking off, and we’ve heard nothing but encouraging words, so hopefully we’ll do one of my favorite movies of all time justice.

    Oh, and Chris: we’ve DEFINITELY watched this too many times. The Terminator was basically my “Old Yeller” as a kid.

    Thumbs up,
    Cody from Husky Jackal

  • Anonymous

    Please let this come to pass, I beseech thee!

  • Jay_wynne

    Pray do come and let the terspichorean splendors of your forte traipse across the fair boards of our inquiring psyches.

  • T Guy

    My very best for this project, good sirs;
    And I do hope it comes to England soon!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Randolph-Vance/100000974290673 Randolph Vance

    Now I want to see Caddyshack translated into Shakespeare!

    “The lovely wife of Judge Smails. Thou art a woman of great beauty. Wouldst such a great beauty like to earn the princely sum of fourteen dollars in a most difficult manner?”

    “Thou art no gentleman!”

    “Well, thou art not a doorknob, neither!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Randolph-Vance/100000974290673 Randolph Vance

     ”Wait up, fair maidens, for thou hast an enormous genoa salami that thou must conceal quickly!”