Allow Us To Explain
Depending on whom you ask, tomorrow might be Valentine's Day, Singles Awareness Day, or Day-Before-Discount-Candy-At-Duane-Reade Day. Like it or not, romance is a big deal tomorrow, at least if you're in the States. And to, er, celebrate, I decided to write about movies and TV shows that don't have any romance. Sadly, there aren't as many of them as you might think.
I'm not saying there's anything necessarily wrong with romance. There are tons of romantic movies I really like. But Hollywood's love affair with love affairs is practically to the point of obsession. Time and time again romantic subplots are shoehorned in in a horribly awkward way (looking at you, Thor), and finding one's One Twu Wuv is often painted as the most important thing in a character's life, especially if they'e female. But there are other relationships in people's lives that are just as relevant and worthy of Hollywood's time. Plus… look, sometimes I just want a break from all the googly eyes. Is that too much to ask?
To that end, here are seven movies and one TV show you can watch tomorrow if you're sick of all the candy and flowers.
First, a few notes on how I chose these:
- Movies with couples in them are fine; said couples just can't be the source of any relationship drama. The point here is that all these movies lack a romantic subplot.
- I'm more interested in movies where you can easily see where romance could have happened, but the choice was made not to include it. This is mainly relevant to kids movies. For example, Teletubbies and Brave are equally lacking in romance, but the latter made the conscious choice to not give Merida love interest, whereas with the former that was presumably a given. (Note: I have not actually watched Teletubbies, but if there is any romance in it please, please, please keep that information to yourself.)
- Movies like The Shawshank Redemption where a lack of romance is a result of a lack of female characters don't count. That's cheating. Believe me, I wish that non-straight romances were an accepted enough thing in movies (and in life) that a same-sex cast didn't equal no romance 95% of the time. But the sad fact is that homosexual romances just aren't something most studios, directors, writers, etc. seriously consider including. Happily, that is changing, albeit slowly, as a particular animated movie on this list indicates.